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It’s Just A Dick.. You Can Go & Buy One Down The Street! F^ck!

Imagine you are in your happy place!!

Yep! Not big enough? Got it covered!

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YOU?

I know.. I know.. All you want to know is about the Sex Awards. I will be tackling that soon. What I can say is that I did learn a lot about fisting.. but today… today has thrown me . . . → Read More: It’s Just A Dick.. You Can Go & Buy One Down The Street! F^ck!

Ladies First! Where Are Your Manners!

Friends Forever

Friends Forever

There is something that female friendships can bring to your life that no other can. Why is that? Why can’t a man fill that void? If you say you have one that does, you are wrong. I am not sure if it’s the idea that they can really identify with anything you . . . → Read More: Ladies First! Where Are Your Manners!

RED FLAGS! Run away now before it’s too late!

controlling men2

Happens all the time. Most of us have been involved with one. It will be one of the hardest relationships to get out of and get over. It will scar you for life. But if you can get out of it early, that wound will heal and no one will even notice . . . → Read More: RED FLAGS! Run away now before it’s too late!

Transformation 2013!

I wonder if I walk around with this on my mouth, will anyone say anything?

There is nothing in this post on sex so men, you may want to go to another post.

You only live once. That’s my motto to live by so I like to try everything once. I have a great friend who is a Physician Associate in Aesthetic Medicine. I overheard her asking our mutual friend . . . → Read More: Transformation 2013!

The Basic Rules of Women

One of our favorite positions

Basic Rules of Women

I was watching the ending to “Liar, Liar”, where Jim Carrey is riding this stair cart trying to catch up with the plane his ex and son were on and I’m thinking, “This is EXACTLY why men and women have so many problems!”. Here is this sad situation and we . . . → Read More: The Basic Rules of Women

2 Condoms For My First Orgasm | Hitting Home Runs

TheAssGirl Hugging

I know! I know! Orgasms? How predictable! Trust me, being the scorpio I am, I tried desperately to come up with something else. I did not want to make it easy. I am a stubborn, pain in the ass (when I’m not wearing my…) Wait! What was I saying? Oh yea, orgasms. I thought about . . . → Read More: 2 Condoms For My First Orgasm | Hitting Home Runs

Thank You Paul Walker!

He changed my life and doesn't even know it!

Years ago I was on a really bad date at Billys in Newport Beach. I tried to drink enough to drown out the lame conversation I was submitting myself to. It was hopeless until…

Paul Walker walked into the room. You could feel how every woman in the room stopped breathing for a second, then . . . → Read More: Thank You Paul Walker!

Chop! Chop! Chop up those Carrot Danglers!

your_ego

 

I HATE those Carrot Danglers!

Take a look at my picture. See the ass? See the ass dangling the carrot? That is pretty much how I visualize this category of men in real life..

You know the guy. The guy who has money so he feels he is entitled to being treated better . . . → Read More: Chop! Chop! Chop up those Carrot Danglers!

I’m in Love with 7 Gay Men

woman holding heart

Please note that these are NOT fictional characters. They do exist. We just don’t stand a chance with any of them. I have been exposed to nothing I have ever been through before and I don’t know if I can come back from, or actually if I want to. I spent an evening with these . . . → Read More: I’m in Love with 7 Gay Men

2016 LGBT Language Lesson

the-abbey-food-and-bar_s345x230

Don’t be left clueless at the party!

Welcome to 2016! It is a new year and with every new year comes new lingo. Some of our best day/night times out take place in WeHo. Don’t end up pretend laughing at something you don’t understand or be embarassed by having to ask, what does that . . . → Read More: 2016 LGBT Language Lesson

Could Maternal Instinct Be Our Achilles Heel?

achilles

Could our maternal instinct be our Achilles heel? Think about it. I am not saying it tied to mother’s necessarily, even though historically that is what they say. I am talking about the instinct. There are many women out there who don’t have this. A man can have it. Sex doesn’t mater. I know a . . . → Read More: Could Maternal Instinct Be Our Achilles Heel?

Forge Onward Anti-Bullying Animal Rescue

FOABAR jpg

PROUD TO ANNOUNCE I AM MOVING FORWARD WITH WHAT I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED

For those who don’t know (most!) there is a little more to my story. I have intentionally kept my home life private. One thing that TheAssGirl is about is encouraging people to stop stereotyping. You will notice those are the groups . . . → Read More: Forge Onward Anti-Bullying Animal Rescue

Catty Women… Wtf is your problem?

catty girls

Why are there some women who insist on slamming other women because of their insecurities? Is it too complicated for them to step back and think.. Has this woman ever done anything that would make me think she couldn’t be trusted? Has she screwed me over? Has she been a terrible friend? Has she ever . . . → Read More: Catty Women… Wtf is your problem?

I SMILED. WHICH PART OF THAT MEANS I WANT TO FUCK YOU?

prick

I am feeling a tad frustrated today. Why you ask? BECAUSE saying hi or showing smile has now turned into him thinking you want to fuck. I can’t even be polite or look happy. They think we are inviting them to bed. Seriously! I am driving on the freeway and I don’t even look at . . . → Read More: I SMILED. WHICH PART OF THAT MEANS I WANT TO FUCK YOU?

Orgasmic Meditation… Myth or Magic? OM….

O Meditation

I can’t do yoga. I get bored. When they tell you to just breathe, I try but then I start to wonder how long I half to do it. Then I open one eye to peak around and see if everyone is doing it. Then I tell myself that I can do it, but . . . → Read More: Orgasmic Meditation… Myth or Magic? OM….

Guy Punches Girl, That’s Okay! No Big Deal!

man-punch-woman

Security? Serve and Protect? Ya OK!

 

Being in that 1% where if it has never happened, it will happen… to me or around me, isn’t always fun. I joke about it sometimes but last night was NOT funny. It was quite the opposite. It was meant to be a night full of fun . . . → Read More: Guy Punches Girl, That’s Okay! No Big Deal!

Eavesdrop On True Convos Between Women Part 1.. The Male Ego

male ego

Lately anytime I am ready to write a blog about something I make the mistake of checking Yahoo first. There always seems to be a political story or tragic happening that instantaneously changes my mood. My humor and sarcasm get thrown out the door and I am not able to get back to taking things . . . → Read More: Eavesdrop On True Convos Between Women Part 1.. The Male Ego