I am in a preDICKament. I have a son who seems to shed a lot. I keep finding hair everywhere in my bathroom. I feel pretty confident some of those are pubes and I am not happy about it. I am trying to figure out how to approach the subject. I don’t want them on my floor, counter and toilet. I see them in the shower after they “cleaned” the tub and I just don’t want any part of it. There is something strange about handling your kids pubes.
I know with a regular guy how I would approach it. In my research I have found husbands tend to let that area go when they are married. Not cool. I don’t want to find any hair in my teeth or hack like a cat who has a hairball because one is stuck in my throat.
Did your wife/girlfriend stop giving you blowjobs? Look down, your laziness to maintain could be to blame. I know you don’t think it’s a big deal but it is. Think of all the manhandling you do, the sweating, and who knows what else!
For me, I would probably at the moment the forest makes an appearance, look at it and comment that how the hair makes their penis look smaller. I would say it like I am surprised but real matter of fact. Very few men are okay with hearing that their penis is small. If I wanted to have a little fun I could, in the middle of the blowjob start hacking like one is caught in my throat, maybe grab my neck, act like I am choking. I could call a nurse practioner and complain about a scratch in my throat (in front of you) and mention that I did have quite a chunk of hair in my throat and could this be the cause. It would depend on my mood. If we had plans in the evening I could seem bothered with my teeth and then ask everyone if there is a hair in between my teeth. Something humiliating yet funny.
My issue is I can’t do/say any of these things to my kids. I mean, I have never even used the word pubes around them. Isn’t it better not to? I have mentioned hair enough times that they really aren’t getting it. It’s not like I can get a guy friend to have a man to man talk about it. This is a tough call. Having to be the mom and dad is a difficult. I have conquered the masturbation talk, the pornography talk, the sex toys talk, but this one I am a little stuck. Ahh! He took my eyebrow scissors to clip his nose hair. What if he does that? NO!I just don’t know.
If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to offer it. I know I will find a way but maybe there is a way I haven’t thought of. All I know is I don’t want to find pubes all over.
Say Something Raunchy