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 New Blog Posted! Be More Specific When You Ask For A Rubber

If you don’t like something in your life, quit bitching about it and fix it!

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For me, I like to get surprise gifts and if you are single, this can be tough. After a ton of unnecessary research I started a few months ago a new plan. We all want to get gifts on our birthdays and holidays right? Well going out and getting a boyfriend just so you can get one seems really stupid. First of all you risk a crappy gift. You know, those ones that you know they bought themselves something and it came with a free gift and you are getting it. A clutch or a jewelry cleaner. Don’t struggle to make sense of it. Realize that they walked in the store, didn’t want to deal with it and saw the jewelry or cologne counter and convinced themselves they are genius’. NOT! My plan is better.

I signed up with Birchbox, Ipsy and occasionally Allure for their monthly boxes. Birchbox and Ipsy are only $10 per month. Allure is $15. I go back and forth on that one because they do give a couple great full size items so it is a tug of war. First you go online and complete the questionnaire. Every month after you will receive a box in the mail with surprises! You don’t know what you are getting! You will get giddy when you see it in your mailbox (especially Ipsy because it is in a neon pink bubble envelope). It will be filled with things you want and love. YES! For $10 a month! That’s cheaper than using your cell to call a boyfriend or putting in the extra time to nab a guy. That is what you will get. It is a surprise and so much fun!. Ipsy always comes with a fun bag and Birchbox always has a card explaining each item. Allure encloses a book! I once received a La Mer product in my Allure Box. I kid you not! Birchbox is even available for men so if you do have a bf/sig other or smelly guy friend, this is the perfect gift for him! He won’t have a clue. It’s brilliant! I feel loved and I never feel like I got screwed with a lame present that I will never use. It’s fantastic! I post on my instagram pics of various months, if you want to take a peak.

Trust me, I went through and evaluating all of the ones I could find and fell for these. There are many others and I would suggest taking a peak at them as well. For me, right now, these were the ones I narrowed it down to. No boyfriend so no gift? Wrong! I get to check my mailbox and see each day if I have a surprise and I know I will love it! That rocks!

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PLEASE check out my radio with Holli and Michael on Playboy Radio    



If you are interested in TheAssGirl appearing on your show and/or podcast, hosting your event or attending an event, please contact her assistant Chloe. In the subject line on email please put Attention Chloe

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Are you not getting enough sleep? HIV positive? Arthritis? Parkinsons? Diabetic? ALS? Alzheimers? Problems with Focus and Clarity?

Would you like to brighten and even lighten your skin? Are you low on energy? Auto-immune problems?

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Please click here. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!



Hello to all the gorgeous, amazing, inspiring , women who to me, represent my brand image. The take no prisoners hot bitches that drive men crazy.  These men want them so bad they can’t stop thinking about them. Hello to those boys who are trying to figure how they can capture one of these “wild Mustangs” and make them their own. It is possible. I don’t have all the answers and the answers I do have are made up in my disillusioned brain. I will say that a big issue is that these boys make one huge mistake. They try to tame this “Wild Mustang“. See you aren’t supposed to do that. Like any wild horse, you try and make them do something it will come out kicking. She will do that along with mind fucking you so much so won’t even know if you are awake or dreaming.  You will end up on the other side of the door. I think the most important thing that I can share with you, that hopefully (if you can calm your hard on down. Try and go jump in the snow. Find a way that will help you think clearly. Now listen real close…..These priceless women.. There is a reason they are so strong and independent.  It usually isn’t by choice. At some point in there life, they had to be. Instead of trying to tame that Mustang, try and get to the core of how she got there. That is the key!

Wild Mustang

BTW.. Life can be complicated. I never want to be a part of that. If there are any questions you have or if you want to change a color or anything, please feel free to message me. If I can do it, I will! In the big scheme of things…


Interested in something a little different? Go to  Buy with confidence and show your support in the best way possible! OR stick with TheAssGirl and order something right this minute! OR BOTH!

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Take a peak, better yet BUY! the most outrageous and inappropriate clothing around. Vulgar t-shirts, sexy boy shorts for women, adult clothing, onesies, sexy product reviews and more! Cum in an look around! How about a Meat Inspector T-Shirt, or a Dirty Little Freak Tank Top? Shop Now!



 Upload a video of you interviewing someone, drunk, or you drunk, or you demonstrating something, anything that fits TheAssGirl image, to YouTube and send me the link! I will, as a special thank you send you a free TAG TV t-shirt! Yep! You heard me right! Free shirt! With the logo you see above. I will take care of the shipping. No cost to you! Obviously, I would love it to be funny and/or educational. Stick with the theme of my sites.   It could be you having a rant about  the straight shit on relationships, what really pisses you off or gets you off, discuss a new fetish, possibly a demo of a toy/talent, etc..







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