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S & M

  • So Much BDSM, How Can I Choose??

    With the soon to be upcoming craze of 50 Shades I feel the need to take an even deeper look at the BDSM genre.
    Curiosity drives me I had to take a closer look.

    A friend of mine was contemplating opening up her world, sexual world, and dabbling a little in the BDSM. She had “accidentally” tripped on to a man who was on the program and eager to bring in a newbie. She was a little nervous but consulted a couple friends for the really burning questions. He was very specific about what he wanted which was the first surprise. It was almost like it was scripted. “She was auditioning for a role” This was the way to look at it, to not be so nervous about it. Fear of the unknown and fear of pain. They were messaging back and forth. She realized that her usual methods of flirtation would not work with this person. Using the word cock in a sentence was not going to get her a follow up message. It was so unfamiliar.
    Her big relief was when she found out there would be nothing painful would be done to her.  There would be spanking but she would have the pleasure. According to the script she was going to be the one in charge. She would be spanking but only with the hand and always over the knee. At first it would be over pants. Gradually it would work it’s way to bare ass. In between? He was to be sent to the corner. He was to be scolded while there and lectured on his misbehavior. He would not speak unless he was told to and he was not allowed to touch himself. She became a little concerned. “What if he called her Mommy?” Was this a mommy/son thing or was this a teacher/student, so many options. This made getting into character challenging, not to mention, she had never even spanked her kids. Did he want it hard? Did he want it to only sting a little? He said to chastise him in the corner. What was chastise? “Chastise is like what you would say when you are giving them trouble.“ She had never put her kids in a corner, spanked, or chastised them. I mean you can only tell someone you are naughty or a bad boy so many times. It was time to get reinforcements. She contacted a couple gfs (myself included) and went to work.  This is where my curiosity kicked in so I took over the internet part. That is where I discovered that there are so many types of S&M and the one this guy was describing, with all the specifics, actually had a name.. Domestic Discipline. I couldn’t believe it had an actual name.
    I got a better sense of what was the goal in this. I mean my friend was like, “Are we even going to have sex?” We didn’t know. “Do you walk right in playing the role or is there like a trigger word like ACTION?  “What should I wear?” We decided to take the secretary approach. Anything far away from being mommy.
    I became the director and she became the actress.

    You are going to walk in there strong and confident. Follow his lead for a minute. That will be the only time he calls the shots. Walk into his room and take a look around. Find the corner you will want to use then tell him to go stand in it. If he asks anything, tell him to be quiet. Did you tell him to talk? Absolutely not. He will only talk when told to do so. I’m not sure what he will call you, hopefully not mom. I’m thinking either master/ma’am/mistress, I have no idea. Take a deep breath. Your goal is to humiliate but you use your sexuality to do it. Walk up to him, tell him he is naughty and let your breathe flow down his neck. Run your hands down his back, through his hair. What you want to do is find his triggers, the things that get him excited. Make a point of pointing it out if you see that it is working and tell him firmly that it is not allowed. He doesn’t deserve what you have. Walk over to the bed and reiterate how bad he is. Tell him to come over. Did he move his hands? Hands at the side! Did he start walking? Did you tell him to? See how naughty he is. It’s time for him to be bent over your knee. According to my notes, in between the spanks, it is good to rub the area softly. I guess it feels good after the sting. Make sure you spank him hard, a few times. Once it seems like he is starting to get excited, stop immediately. This is supposed to torture him. Tell him to get up. Make eye contact and tell him to take off his clothes. Keep the eye contact and make sure he looks at you. This is also supposed to be humiliating. There is supposed to be shame. You can play with him some more or put him back in the corner. He will only be in his underwear so you will be able to definitely tell if what you are doing is working. You can really start to have fun with him now. Nibble on the ear, run your lips down his back, gently grasp his ass and in between. Whisper to him how he doesn’t listen or do what he is supposed to. Is he getting excited again? Stop. Walk over to the middle of the room, tell him to undress you, if you want. Tell him to do it slowly, anyway you want him to. Underneath you will be wearing something very sexy. He will probably like that. What do you want him to do now? Send him back to the corner. Have him take off the underwear. Have him stand in front of you barenaked, again this is supposed to be shaming. When he is in the corner you can have even more fun with him. You can rub up against him, your breasts on his back. Your tongue anywhere and everywhere. If you are in the mood, give him a blow job but do not let him cum. You have to stop before. Remember…torture!
    Now it’s all about you. Go back and order him to go down on you, for as long as you want. He wants to please you and be a good boy. (hehe) Make him earn it. After that it’s time for the bare ass spanking. Try not to dwell on the red marks. It’s what he is after. He wants it to hurt when he sits down. He wants to feel the pain as he goes through his day. He will probably be really turned on, wiggling around, hard as a rock…

    At this point I couldn’t find anymore information online. The transition to sex. I told her to do whatever she wanted at that point. Hell..I don’t know! I just have print outs with sentences highlighted!

    Duct Tape

    photo 3











    She came back empowered and excited. She had fun with it and was genuinely proud of herself. She was giddy with the success of her first encounter of Domestic Discipline. I think she has found her calling.

  • Turn Me 50 Shades of Grey | An S&M Perpective

    Young Man And CougarThis is my review of this book. Now please understand you do not have to agree with me, it is only my opinion. I am glad I waited a few days. My “hotter than hell” cousin came over to visit (before he goes back to NY BOOO!) and asked me about the book. I gave him my perspective and in comparison used what is in my mind the closest, The Secretary. He had never seen it (OMG!), luckily I just happen to own it and there we went! I am so glad I did because I can’t believe how many similarities I found, only simmered down.

    S&M People Will Call This Fluff

    Let’s start with the obvious, both named Mr. Grey. Seriously! I explained to “HTH” that I felt that The Secretary was more realistic of true S&M and that Shades of Grey was like the Pretty Woman version. Rich, hot guy, misunderstood by everyone, except for her. I imagine genuine S&M people will call this fluff, kind of like what the hookers called Pretty Woman. I mean there really wasn’t hardly anything in the first book other than a few hard spankings. That’s it. I am afraid there is going to be women out there saying there are into it, putting it out there and finding themselves hogtied in some strangers bed thinking, “This did NOT happen in the book!”. I mean PLEASE! She was a virgin and orgasmed (sometimes multiple) every single time! NO WAY! and if YES WAY, you were a better version of Mother Theresa in a past life or something because that is amazing. On top of that, she gives a kickass blowjob and swallows the shit right down. I just don’t see how you can do that. I suppose if she had hit Daytona Beach on a few spring breaks, got hooked on the funnel, but she never drank. I cal BULLSHIT. Take away his money and imagine everything else. He shows up at places when you never told him where you were going. He knows where you live. Stalker! Crazy person! For Sure! Throw in both of their jealousy issues, we are talking a dysfunction that meds could not treat. She is so pessimistic and negative about herself.

    No Gifts Sir – Now Whip Me

    She didn’t want expensive gifts because it made her feel like a prostitute? Hello! You are calling him Sir and letting him whip your ass? Bullshit! Again. He tells her after seeing her what? twice? He can’t stop thinking about her. A millionaire..Don’t forget about the burns and bad childhood. We have to have that for sympathy. In every tv show with 2 guys, one always got injured and every girl wanted to take care of him, love him. Yet, give him the strength and power to control you. In real flag.

    Did I like the book? Yes. Will I read the next two? Yes. Why? Because she does a great job with the details. She is specific and able to help you imagine the seduction inch by inch (btw. Men please take notes!) and because it IS a fairytale and frankly..there hasn’t been any really great ones since Notebook. Before that, Titanic. We all need something to fantasize about. Someone to daydream about at the grocery store, when the kids are complaining, during sex with your husband..whatever. As women we are much more empowered than we used to be. We all want to do it, just don’t want to be the first one to say so. I think women will be more comfortable buying toys, experimenting, going outside the box and letting men know what they like. That is all good. I get the appeal of a good mindfuck but do I think this I think alot of women do exactly what is said in this book. Now they can talk about it. I believe anything that can make your sexlife hotter and help you discover what makes you happy is worth a shot. You are the only one who will know.

    Research Before Diving Into S&M

    I think if you truly want to delve into the world of S&M, do more research. This book is no where near enough. Like I said, I believe The Secretary to be more real but after seeing it so many times, I still can’t figure out the symbolism of the worm. Why does that shift everything? What does it represent? You see the dominance. You see the submissive and it isn’t just physical. It’s psychological and that, I think, is more of the core. I think both are sexually arousing but I don’t think everyone will agree. I think 50 Shades of Grey is the Harlequin of the 2000′s. We are not the women we used to be.
    I was going to talk more about the similarities between the two movies but now that I am writing this, I don’t want to. I don’t want to take away any of the fantasy from the book. Alot of us need that. If you want to watch the movie you can. Maybe you will agree, maybe you won’t, but I will tell you this…

    The next time I see an incredibly hot guy, I am going to bite my lower lip and HOPE that he will fall apart, grab me, throw me down and turn me 50 Shades of Grey.

    Not sure what I meant by that but it sounded really hot!

    A couple more hot pics .. warm up those boys!

  • 50 Shades Of S&M | Getting Busted By Landlord

    Big Ass Big BikeI decided to try something different this month. I am going to be posting my review of Fifty Shades of Grey so I figured lets stick with that S&M theme. I hope that isn’t a problem for anybody…

    Now I know I seem like a woman of “experience” mostly due to the fact that I intentionally come across that way. This S&M thing though I learned is a whole different subject all together. I have always said that I will try anything once and I mean that. The problem was I had no idea what was involved in this. This is something ideally you could try with your fantasy fuck (see Nov.’11) This way you have no embarrassment and its easier to get out of doing it again if you don’t want to. I am going to tell this from a perspective of someone not having a clue. I am not saying it was me but I’m also not saying it was anyone else. Got it? Also, always key when you are reading my blogs is to remember I am full of shit.

    Ok..It’s gametime. Fantasy Fuck has called and is up for an afternoon rendezvous. Very excited. Of course all the prep work involved does seem to require a lot more time and effort than sometimes he does. I work on preparing my “sex” cd. Why? Because everything is better with music in the background I think. Easier to catch a beat and not lose your rhythm. As I am doing this the sexting is going back in forth. It’s fun, playful, but at a certain point you run out of lines. This is concerning. WTF! What do I say next? Especially when they come back with, “And Then?” “And Then” I DON’T KNOW! I’m running out of shit to say! I place a call to my guru who saves my ass and sends me an email full of tons of lines. Perfect! I start throwing those out there. Then it happens..

    Be Ready to be Degraded

    “Umm. Hey so he just said Be ready to be degraded. What does that mean” (This is all my side of the conversation. Must protect her identity ;) ” No..can’t be that, we have done that. Nope. He has done that. No Way! I am so not doing that! You don’t know?! FUK! Ok what? So you think he wants me to dominate him? No, I haven’t. Always been afraid I would start to enjoy the beating the man part a little to much. I Know. I was joking. toys in hidden spots around bed? Got it. Restraints? Yep, got those. Blindfold? Of course! But what do I do when he gets here because let me tell you if I stay in this outfit much longer, it will melt on to me. I grab him? Ok. Throw him against the wall and blindfold him. Really? Ok. Got it. Yes, the whips are on the bed and stuff. Lay him down? Ok. Then what? Tickle, tickle, hit? Shut up! Is that really how it goes?! Ok..tickle..tickle, hit.. Got it. Wait..let me write some of this down on my hand. I need to change my music too. Put him in the restraints? Got it. Ok. I dominate? Ok..Lets give it a shot. Of course! I will call you afterwards!”

    Landlord Drops By During Daytime S&M Play

    What can I say? Daytime S&M play not always the best idea when you are in costume and your landlord decides to stop by. A housecoat will help but those boots are poking out and he isn’t stupid. Finally the arrival. Now I am not going to give a play by play but I will say this. THANK GOD he was blindfolded because if he could see my face when I was on top (still dressed) I looked ridiculous! I was sitting looking at the toys trying to figure out what to do. Do I pick up this one? Or this one? She never told me where I could hit him. Shit. Was it tickle, hit, slap? What do I tickle with? The crop? Well that doesn’t seem like it would tickle. I looked like an anxiety ridden, hyped on ritalin, confused looking woman. I was not on ritalin, I just mean shaky and wound up. Thank God! Stranglehold came on so I can put myself in a rock video and run with it. HEY! You play your way, I’ll play mine! A second thanks to the fact that on that occasion he was so riled up before the event that afterwards I was like,”Are you kidding me?! I spent how much time getting ready and he lasted thru 1 1/2 songs!” Do I regret it? NO! Life is to be lived. Now do you see why I refer to Fifty Shades of Grey a fairy tale? It’s that whole Fantasy versus Reality. I really wasn’t even that annoyed with how long he lasted. That was due to my “hotness” or that’s what I tell myself. I still made fun of him all the time..of course! Because psychologically from then on, he would be trying to last long and I would be able to see the frustration in his face and the tension and I would enjoy it.Maybe I am a dominant and just don’t know.

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