Single mothers are a special type of woman and should be treated as such
There are many men out there who have no idea where they went wrong, while dating a single mother. In particular, if they have no children. You have no idea, even though you think you do, what it is like raising kids, if you do not have any. In any relationship you want to date someone who makes your life better. When it comes to single mothers, add easier on to that.
Do not assume anything is she doesn’t call you right back, especially assuming the worst. We have no tolerance for that and frankly, dealing with the fact that the toilet is overflowing and the dog is in the vicinity, is a hell of a lot more important than stroking you ridiculous insecurities.
Do not waste our time. It is valuable. We always have a list of things that needed to be done yesterday and frivolous moments anger us. We don’t find them endearing.
Do not talk about your money and success. It doesn’t make you seem more appealing or want us to get serious about you. We already know resale on a wedding ring sucks so unless you are giving us that cash, no strings attached, what the ‘f’ do we care.
Do.. Don’t say! We have children. We know how kids can be, which is quite similar to the male. Guys who tell us what our lives could be like or things they would do for us… We don’t believe it. Do you know how many times our kids have promised never to do something again, but they do. You are in that category.
Don’t invite us on a first date for coffee. We have coffee at home and when you throw gas in their, this date is costing us money. Not worth it.
Do not allow them to pay for anything. For bonus points, offer to pay for the sitter. Life is hard enough on us. We are already struggling financially. No doubt one of the kids is going to need braces, another is growing out of their shoes. When it comes to dating, for us to even consider, you need to show you appreciate what she lives with.
Do not ask her to come over. Gas costs money. We already know if you ask us over, you are hoping for sex. You expect us to pay for sex?? That is what you are saying. Bonus points if you offer to give gas money for occasions that require her to drive. It shows that you care and want to make things easier, not harder.
Don’t tell her you understand anything about being a single mom. You don’t.
Don’t spend the whole time talking about yourself. We have kids so we are already surrounded by narcissists.
Don’t buy us gifts you like. We have no use for them and in our minds will tally how much you spent and tell our friends that you should have just given her the cash because the youngest is sick, so you have had to stay home and lost income. You want to get us something, how about a free sitter so we can take a nap. A maid so we can go one day without having to clean. Give us a gift certificate for Target. We always need stuff from Target. Those gifts are appreciated. A pretty scarf or flowers… what are we going to do with that?
Find out something she likes to have or do to relax and show up for each date with one. It doesn’t have to be huge, just show you are aware and know. If her way of unwinding is getting a massage, bring her a gift certificate. Normally, single moms put everyone else before themselves, so things like that are always on the bottom of the priority list, therefore, never happen. She likes wine to relax, bring a bottle. That will be appreciated.
Don’t talk about how ready you are for kids. No need to present your resume or passive aggressively tell us that there is a wonderful man out there who is perfect for us. That’s a fairy tale, our lives are reality. The fact that you took us to your favorite restaurant for dinner shows us right there that you are not. We go to the restaurants the kids will behave best and asking us what we would like never happens at home.
Remember that us going out, when we get home there will always be some sort of disaster that will make us determine whether or not it was worth it. Most times it is easier to stay home.
Don’t ask to meet our kids, especially at the beginning of a relationship. They are our diamonds, our hearts, our souls. Do not go there. We are big lions and have seen enough television specials to believe this is a red flag. We will protect our kids to the death.
Ask us about us and listen! Adult conversation is few and far between and being asked about ourselves is even less. We will appreciate that and it will force us to look back to before kids, when we mattered.
Do not make us kick you out. At the end of the evening, tell us you are going to get going because you know we need our sleep and you do not want the kids to see you. It isn’t fun having to tell someone to leave and usually when it’s late, we are tired and have zero patience. Get a clue.
Never let us pay for a drink. If you don’t think we are worth $5, you don’t stand a chance and don’t start telling us how women use you for free drinks, etc. You are trying to get them in the sack. It is a two way street. Spending $30 on drinks? You are saying we aren’t worth that? By the way, women are friendlier across the board after lots of alcohol. You actually will improve your chances.
Single mothers have (over the years) worked out a system in their household that works. It has taken a lot of trial and error but we do know what works and what doesn’t. Everyday we compromise and use every ounce of patience we have. We have no energy left for you. It isn’t meant to be offensive. It isn’t personal. It just is. We are exhausted. We are under stress. We are walking a tight rope financially. You should help, not hinder. Make it easier, not harder. Make us laugh, not cry. We are strong because we have to be. We are special and worth it.
Unless you are up for the above, you are wasting her (and your) time. As I write this, I am enjoying my 5 minutes of silence while my one is asleep in his bed with an earache and the other one was dropped off at school bitching the whole way about how much he hates it. The other one will wake up and act like a baby because all boys/men do when they are sick. He is going to complain to me all day about it. I am only giving my opinion and honestly, I think you can also apply all of these to women in general but I know that will make things more complicated so I am going with single moms.
Rule: Always try to make things easier, always! Sorry but the “pleasure” of your company isn’t as fulfilling as you think it is.
Supermom
Say Something Raunchy