It’s Valentine’s Day and my oldest is wallowing around the house, depressed about not having a Valentine. He is the “Never Been Kissed” Drew Barrymore. Still believes that if he could just meet that special someone, he will live happily ever after. No matter how many times I try to explain that relationships are not easy, there is fighting and odds are if he had a Valentine right now, they would not still be his Valentine in a couple years. He just doesn’t believe it and a part of me wishes I was still as naive as he is.
The other part, is thrilled I know better. Let’s be honest. When we were younger, we settled, not that we knew we were doing it at the time. With age comes confidence that we deserve more. We can be happy single. We would rather wait and have someone who makes our life better, not leaves us crying at usually the worst moments. Why are so many teenage girls so desperate for a male/female to show us that we mean something. Why didn’t we know that? It sure would have saved me a lot of wasted tears and bad poetry.
I read an interview with Jennifer Lawrence. She is a successful, young, beautiful actress who you would imagine has it all. She doesn’t. In fact, she stated that no one ever asks her out. She stated that men are mean to her. They try to establish dominance and it is usually by belittling her. It hurts her feelings and makes her feel insecure. Eventually it leads to constant fighting and a constant need for validation. She said that she knows where they are coming from. Personally, I don’t think we should “know” where they are coming from from. It’s making an excuse for someone who is treating you like shit. There is no justification for anyone to make another person, feel that they are less than they are. So does this mean men are also desperate to be seen as a man? Are all of us looking for someone else to make us feel important/wanted/special? Do we have to wait until we hit 30 before we get a clue? It’s one area that I wish I knew then, what I know now.
There was a study that showed that there are 3 characteristics of women that lead to lonliness. It’s a blend of intelligence, beauty and being sexy. These three things arose threat and fear in most men. It was Marlene Dietriech that stated, “The most beautiful women have the smallest chances, of meeting a man”. Could this be true? Would this explain why so many as they enter the 40’s and 50’s are single? Without the confidence at a young age, we settle for less than we deserve. This inevidentally leads to bad relationships which leads to a point where we are fed up which leads to being 100% comfortable being single and knowing that finding that someone is not required to make us happy. We are sick of crying. We are done hoping. We are going to start putting ourselves first.
Once we reach that point of self confidence, we change and we see that all of us are beautiful. We may not be to everyone we have contact with but that is their problem, not ours. We stop feeling threatened by other women. We want to help empower women who haven’t reached that point yet. We are finally happy being who we are. So… sorry Valentine’s Day but I don’t need you or have to have you to be happy. I am pretty kickass on my own.
Say Something Raunchy