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Adopt The Seven Year Ditch!

spanking

I have come up with a ridiculous plan that I think could work! It could save marriages and/or at a minimum, expand your sex horizons!

When I got divorced, I wasn’t terribly worried about the dating scene. I mean, it’s just like riding a bike ;) . It will all come back to you. I had game before I was married and I wasn’t a naive woman. I thought I knew a thing or two, make that twenty. I was ready to join the game, but wait! I was not! I had no idea. The game had changed and the rules were all different. WTF? I had no clue what the hell was going on? There I was making the late night phone call to my gay relative.. “So if a guy wants me to use a strap on or dildo in his ass, does that mean he is gay?” I feel stupid now for even thinking that. That’s how little I knew. “I would really like it if you peed on me”. Umm.. What? Why? What does that do? ” I want you to spank my ass”. Wait, you don’t want to spank mine. You want me to spank yours? “Let’s bring out the toys and you put on this strap on because you look hot in it (really?) and put it in my ass!” Put it in your ass? Why yours? When did it stop being about my ass and turn into being all about yours? Isn’t that what guys love? Isn’t that like their Mount Everest? I don’t understand. “Put me in the corner and tell me I’m a bad boy. Make sure you spank me really hard so it hurts when I walk”. Really? You want it to hurt that much? Honestly, that part was kind of fun although I do not want it done to me. I was clueless. Lol. Now, if a guy asks me to use a dildo in his ass, he would be the LAST person I think is gay. FYI.. Rule of thumb, “They will fuck it but they won’t eat it”. That is the line they don’t cross.

When this subject comes up around married couples they are thrown! They are like NO WAY! The husband is like no one is putting anything in my ass and the wife is like seriously? This is how I came up with the seven year ditch. Seven years is a point where you have been together long enough to where the sex is routine, vanilla. It’s where they start to get annoyed with the little things and start to wonder how it is on the other side of the fence. I say it’s time to take a mini break. Separate and get out there. Discover what has been introduced into the sex world. What new games are out there. What new erogenous zone has been discovered. See what sexual things people are now comfortable doing. Improve your game playing skills by learning the new rules.

I know, you think, why would you want to go back? Well for women, once you deal with the jackrabbits, the narcissists, the criers, the submissives, the dead fucks, the “my cock is so big I am just going to lay here” guys, the ADHD guy who can’t hold any position for more than a couple seconds, the ones who want you to call them daddy, the ones who want to pee on you or you to pee on them, the ones who talk about their ex most of the time, the ones that don’t shower (YUCK!), the ones who need a serious trim down there (unruly is not attractive!), she will be ready to go back. She will know that the grass isn’t greener.

bad-first-date-1

With the man, well after he sees how high maintenance women are now and how costly dating can be, with no guarantees of sex or a blow job. He will appreciate what he had and how good he had it. The dating scene is exhausting and will burn both of you out. The fun part is that both of you will have some new playtime activities to share to give the relationship a fun reboot.

So this is my completely idiotic  idea that I think could work, although, as always,  it is just a suggestion.

old married fun couple

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