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Guys Always Come Back For More Bootie

Hello my magnificent friends! I was trying to come up with an idea for a July “theme” when I received a text from a number I didn’t recognize. It said “Hello Gorgeous”. I respond with my “Who is This?”, to which they reply “Mark”. Mark? Mark who? Oh! I met you at the Foo Fighters concert. I sat there in my car trying to recall when that was…OMG, wasn’t that like 3 or 4 years ago? Of course it was!

Once again my theories are substantiated. They always come back and if there is a 1% chance, regardless of how inappropriate or offensive or shocking it may be, a guy will go for it. Really can’t hate them for it. I don’t know why. I guess they figure they have nothing to lose, and seriously, they don’t.

Getting Laid And Dropping Off Man At Bicycle

My friends come at me with these ridiculous, CRAZY things guys will say to them and I’m not shocked. What if you say yes? What if you are okay with calling them “Daddy”? What if you do want them to pee on you (BTW..not me!)? Use restraints? Let them come over early for your first date and let them do laundry? Don’t laugh! This HAS happened to me. Not every experience is a tap on the shoulder in the morning, flipping over and having an adorable “friend” ask you for a ride back to his bicycle. They can’t all be cupcakes and rainbows.

Trust me…I have had more than my share! This is how, we women (fuck my grammer, I like pissing anal people off), come up with your nicknames we put in our phones. “Mark” is not going to help me remember who you are (especially when you’re a drinker!), BUT “BYOB Mark” or “Elephant Trunk Mark”, even “Cocksucker Mark”, now that…that we can remember. So be careful my wonderful toys I love to play with. We are watching every move and waiting for that perfect moment for it to hit us. THE NICKNAME! It happens..it always does!

Photo Mayhem:

BIG MONTH! Busy getting ready for Ladies Who Ride at Cooks Corner on July 17th. Proceeds going to Breast Cancer. Huge Party! Great Time! My first fashion show. Girls modelling my stuff! HOT girls modelling my stuff! Unmemorable! My favorite kind of event!  AND (drumroll please!) July 30..the only famous person I would sleep with and wouldn’t care if they got my name right, or got my name at all for that matter… KID ROCK! Don’t ask me to explain myself because I can’t. I will say this (and this has been an ongoing debate between me and my gfs), there is no way Pamela Anderson could have Tommy Lee and his giant..and be with someone who wasn’t. Kid Rock has GOT to be packing some heat! Just has too and if he isn’t, and you have proof…don’t rain on my parade. I need this! Let me learn the hard way! He!He!

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