Okay.. Look.. I know! Where have I been? But we need to focus on something even more important. The mini men.. little penis guys. Now yes, I have mentioned my theory on sending them to another country and only allowing big penis men to pro-create. I can be a bit harsh at times but it all comes from a good place. That place however, wants to feel something.. PLEASE! My gf is in this predicament right now. What to do? “He’s a nice guy”, Of course he is! No man is blessed with everything but I had to warn her. The mini men tend to be cuddlers. That means they are sweet, love poem writing, sleep in the sheets we had sex in and never wash them, kind of guys. Girl stuff. It is best to exit now before you end up slapping him for being such a bitch and get annoyed by the fact that he wants to have phone sex and you realize you can fake real sex but you can’t fake phone sex. You don’t want to lose your temper and say something about mini. It is mean and not necessary. There is a bitch out there who someday will say something horrible about it but because she is such a bitch the guy will be able to not believe it, nor will his friends, because everyone will know she is such a bitch. I know it’s hard to leave mini. So cute and harmless and you just want to brush their hair, let them put you on a pedestal and cook you breakfast. You can’t! They break very easily and fall hard and quick (there’s a joke in there somewhere). You wouldn’t kick a puppy would you?
Donating Time to The Elderly
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You can see by my pics I have been busy donating my time with the elderly and making shirts because it is that time of year Cooks Corners ! Where the pace picks up and special events are popping up all around you. I am making shirts and undies AND as you may have noticed, you can buy Fleshlight AND FleshJacks from me now, thru my website! Just click and you can turn that dull morning routine into a great wake me up! There is more coming!! But I don’t want to ruin the surprise! You must stay tuned!!
If You Have a Small Penis – Tipping May Just Get You Laid!
Woops! One more thing! It has been brought to my attention that there seems to be a growing rate of men out there who are bad tippers. FYI.. Women HATE men who don’t tip! And if you hide the receipt, you aren’t pulling the wool over our eyes. We know! It’s almost like an insult to our stereotype like not only were we put in this role of “waitress” (could be translated to stay at home mom) but you aren’t even appreciating it or acknowledging it by giving her a little extra. It’s like, here is my mess, now clean it up and see you later. BS.. You can’t pick up your own dishes and put them in the sink? You can’t even say thank you? Or get off the couch? You see the similarities. This is why when I am out you will see me hovering over men as they pay their tabs. They get paranoid and feel judged so they tip better. I always give them a great big grin afterwards or a little pat to let them know they did well. You must reward good behavior immediately so they know and understand. So basically you tip bad, you get nothing from the women… no respect, no phone number, definitely no sex and she will tell all of her friends about it. It’s just the way it is. Sorry Mickey!
Say Something Raunchy