Machismo.. Doesn’t that word just scream gold chain, hairy chest, the scent of Old Spice, white socks worn with sandals, speeding by you in an Iroc? Pretty hot huh?
NOT! It also screams arrogance to me and I hate arrogance. It also screams bushy hair to me and I’m not sure why but that leaves a bad taste in my mouth 😉 It does! There is nothing work than gagging on a leftover hair or finding one stuck in your teeth. I beg all you mean out there. Keep that shit pretty. Manscaping is a must. I don’t want to have to wear a searchlight while I’m down there trying to find the prize in the cereal box, ya know?! The prize, when you have to dig for it ends up being some stupid arm tattoo or cheap ass plastic toy. And not the kind of toys I like! The boring toys. The shitty toys. Speaking of which, trim around there too if you don’t mind. For myself I can’t seem to decide. I feel like changing it up. Do I go with the bathmat? Linoleum? Or the shag rug? What do guys find hottest? A little while back a friend of mine found a grey hair down there. I was like, “Do you think that means you’re old or it’s old?” I told her to shave it all off. That would suck.
I learned a few things this month. I learned that they really don’t want you to go to jail. They would much rather you do anything else. Just saying you want to doesn’t cut it. I guess that will have to be taken off my bucket list.
Pills and Alcohol Mix Well
I also learned that not all pills mix well with alcohol. I will leave it at that.
I found a car shop where I can get a great deal on service and not get screwed over. Thank you DVP Automotive!
You know how I will try anything once? Well I went to an AA meeting. Wow! What a crowd! Some so sad..but free coffee and cookies. I couldn’t relate to anybody and their stories but I wanted to really make the most of it so I kept volunteering to read.
Getting to Experience Naughty Nancy
The funnest night this month I had was getting to experience Naughty Nancy (she is on YouTube). She is an awesome character. I love dirty girls and she’s got some big balls on her. Speaking of which, I read in Cosmo that if a guy has big balls it means he has higher testosterone and is more likely to cheat. What do you think about that? I was involved with one guy and his wear like huge..not like gross Cisco Adler huge but still qualified as carry on luggage as far as I was concerned. He cheated. Coincidence? Those things reminded me of the game we used to play when I was younger. That game that us poor people played. Remember getting a long sock and putting a ball in the bottom and swinging it around? Banging it against the wall and it always bounced back to you. Even toss over and under the shoulder! Yep..Are you getting a visual on that? Oh yeah back to Nancy. I went to her show at the Loft in LA, and laughed my ass off! My favorite joke of the night…”Ever notice how the word We spelled backwards is Ew?” They do this comedy night the last Friday of every month and she is the host. I am definitely going to the next one on March 30. I also love that she wore a pair of my boyshorts for the whole show! Oh Ya! and there’s beer! It’s super cheap to get in too! They even let me set up a little shrine for myself.
Donate To Me
I’ve decided I am going to start putting a donate button on each page from now on. Donate? Donate to what? Umm..ME! Wine adds up! And peppermint peckers! And fun toys! And pepper jack cheese (I have to have it with my Big Kahuna Shiraz)! And beer! Oh ya and the kids, rent, food, etc. Who knows maybe someone will be wasted and go for it. I got nothing to lose right? And if you really think about it, it would be like help with Insane Asylum Prevention. That is for sure! Now where is my cheese???
LOOK! I made my own QR Code!
[nggallery id=12]
Say Something Raunchy