Your cart is empty

Buy Dirty Stuff Now!
PayPal Acceptance Mark

What The Fuck 2012? How Do You Get Dick From Richard?

WTF?

Titty Squish– Why is it okay to brake and let a woman cross in front of you but when you do it for a man, they get all weird about it. Almost embarrassed.

– An extremely large man riding a sportster (or scooter). Just doesn’t look right.

– How do you get the name Dick from Richard? Or Bill from William? They aren’t even the same letters.

– Why can’t I dress provocatively and be smart?

– And just cause I have a low moment does not mean I need you to take on the “daddy” role. You don’t know more than me. You just need to listen. It’s just a moment. If you don’t know what to do, hand me money and tell me to go shoe shopping.

– Why do you think you can proposition me without even buying me a drink.

– You can’t be married socially but not emotionally.

– Why when girls take naked pics of themselves, we make sure they look good but guys, sometimes you need to keep that thing covered up. Nothing worse than seeing an ugly one..hard to erase that picture from your mind.

– Why would you ask a girl over and tell her to bring beer?

– Why include the word forever in marriage? Without that string they may last a lot longer.

– Why do they say there is no ulterior motive yet the conversation always turns to sex?

– Why is it always the babysitter for your first time (usually at age 12/13) and you feel you need to stress what a wonderful person she was?

– Why can’t a woman INTENTIONALLY be single and love it?

– Why must you brag about all of your money and success to me? Unless you are putting it in an envelope and mailing it to me, what do I care?

– Why do you ‘talk’ about doing things but you never ‘do’? Talking is just air. I can get that anywhere.

– Why keep running every day but never go anywhere?

– Why call after a long period of time and actually believe we would be interested in going out? Do you think we were waiting by the phone hoping?

– Why even bother accusing a woman of cheating? It’s the biggest red flag that tells us you are.

– Why ‘not’ cut your toenails? YUK!

– Why not at least try to buy our affection? It could work.

– Why can’t a girl drive a Mustang GT? What do you mean it’s a guys’ car. I’m not giving you crap about your Prius.

– Why can’t I use a man for sex?

– Why can’t I sleep with you on the first date and not be a nice girl? What if you suck? Or can’t get it up? Or you can’t kiss? Or it’s the size of a toothpick? That stuff is super important.

– Why can’t we let go of all of our high school judgemental theories?

– Why was it always the PE teacher the girls had a crush on, yet he was also the one who (according to rumors) couldn’t keep his hands to himself.

– Why add salt and pepper to your food without tasting it first? What if it doesn’t need any?

– Why, whenever I hear the word WeHo, I imagine a group of well dressed dwarfs with amazing abs singing, “WeHo..WeHo.. It’s off to…” and then I get stuck?

– How is Jax (of Sons of Anarchy) able to keep his shoes white? I mean, after all the riding, fighting, and shooting, you would think a splash of blood or something.

Say Something Raunchy

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>