Look I wear heels bigger than your dick

The Joys Of Autism | Mom Look What I Can Do!

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

What am I up to now you ask? A couple people I care about have recently found out their child has autism. They have a long, stressful road ahead of them but I want them to know that there may be some unexpected surprises along the way.

THE JOYS OF AUTISM

When my oldest was . . . → Read More: The Joys Of Autism | Mom Look What I Can Do!

How Do You Know If You are any Good at Oral?

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

Absentmindedness? Not because I am late with my blog. That is too easy and we are talking about me! As you can see I have been on a couple excursions. All very fun ones. I will not allow anything else. Unfortunately, every time I began to write my blog…something kept knocking at my brains door.

. . . → Read More: How Do You Know If You are any Good at Oral?

Soliciting You All | Booth for Next ANE/AVN Expo

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

SELL!! SELL!!

I’M TRYING!!

Here I go.. It’s a another month and I’m still climbing that mountain. Mountain? Yes..that mountain to get to the top so I can get the pot of gold! Okay! Okay! I know that is supposed to be a rainbow but I live in California and it hardly ever rains. Could . . . → Read More: Soliciting You All | Booth for Next ANE/AVN Expo

Scaring The Staff At The Viper Room | Jesus Loved Hookers

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

Sorry for the delay but I got wrapped up with watching this tv series about hookers and Jesus. Totally the truth! Only three episodes which was unfortunate but hey.. it was better than Gigilos. That show was horrible! Of course I already pretty much figured Jesus loved hookers. I mean, he loves everybody. I thought . . . → Read More: Scaring The Staff At The Viper Room | Jesus Loved Hookers

Falling For Gay Men | You Look Fabulous! I LOVE The Shoes!

By The Ass Girl, on April 12th, 2013

I have been exposed to something I have never experienced before and I don’t know if I can come back from it, actually if I want to. I spent an evening with these phenomenal men. Let’s keep it simple(for the men reading this) and call them Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. It . . . → Read More: Falling For Gay Men | You Look Fabulous! I LOVE The Shoes!

What The Fuck 2012? How Do You Get Dick From Richard?

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

WTF?

– Why is it okay to brake and let a woman cross in front of you but when you do it for a man, they get all weird about it. Almost embarrassed.

– An extremely large man riding a sportster (or scooter). Just doesn’t look right.

– How do you get the name Dick . . . → Read More: What The Fuck 2012? How Do You Get Dick From Richard?

Men Who Cry & Flirting Way To Front Row Of Def Leppard

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

My heat press is warming up. I still have a bunch of shirts I need to make for Sunday. I’ve been so busy trying to do everything and cover all of my bases that I haven’t even had a chance to go and buy myself more wine..in like a WEEK! I had a booth for . . . → Read More: Men Who Cry & Flirting Way To Front Row Of Def Leppard

Pole Dancing Country Style | Men and Women Work The Pole

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

Photo Mayhem – Meets the Stripper Pole A ho-down complete with chaps, stripper poles, and more.

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Shipping Men With Small Penises To China | Improves Self Esteem

By The Ass Girl, on April 10th, 2013

I have been sitting here trying to figure out a ‘J’ word to go with January. It’s really pissing me off. I have already used jack offs (although I do have a neverending list of stories under that catagory). I thought about “Juggs” or “Jauggernaughts” then I realized I’m not so sure how to spell . . . → Read More: Shipping Men With Small Penises To China | Improves Self Esteem

Nooners In November | Good Customer Service

By The Ass Girl, on April 10th, 2013

Favorite Phrase I Have Used This Month: I am ALL about customer service! Just talk to any of the men I have slept with.

It is my birthday month so I have taken a few days to come up with a theme. Too busy being self-absorbed in my increasing age, inability to continue to lose . . . → Read More: Nooners In November | Good Customer Service

Warning Warning | Poor Shooter | Ouch My Eye Hurts

By The Ass Girl, on April 10th, 2013

WARNING! WARNING!

What is going on? What is with the urgent message? WTF?

I am sorry to have to interrupt your Friday evening escapades but I received a phone call that was very upsetting to me. A dear friend called me very distraut. She was inconsolable. What happened? She explained…OH NO! Not again! I became . . . → Read More: Warning Warning | Poor Shooter | Ouch My Eye Hurts

Two For One Blue Plate Special | What Do Guys Really Want?

By The Ass Girl, on April 10th, 2013

One night (drinking) I was hanging with a gf..drinking some tequila(Jose’ I’m broke so the shitty stuff but tolerable in a one up kind of situation) we decided to go on Plenty of Fish and make a post. Not a usual post but a “Two For One Blue Plate Special”. IT WAS AWESOME! We . . . → Read More: Two For One Blue Plate Special | What Do Guys Really Want?

50 Shades Of S&M | Getting Busted By Landlord

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

I decided to try something different this month. I am going to be posting my review of Fifty Shades of Grey so I figured lets stick with that S&M theme. I hope that isn’t a problem for anybody…

Now I know I seem like a woman of “experience” mostly due to the fact that I . . . → Read More: 50 Shades Of S&M | Getting Busted By Landlord

Morality And Sleeping With Your Cousin

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

Morality? Gets in the way of fun? Nahh ! LOL. May cause a pause at times? Yea..probably. I scratch my brain and have more wine. I think morality is different for everyone. All I know is that the only person who can make you happy is yourself, so do whatever it is you want to . . . → Read More: Morality And Sleeping With Your Cousin

From Barbie Houses to Stripper Poles

By The Ass Girl, on April 12th, 2013

BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS!!

It’s Friday night and I am sitting here daydreaming about living in my Barbie House. My kids, pets and my days of the week. Why am I calling it the Barbie House? Probably because when I was young I desperately wanted one. We couldn’t afford it so I would pack all of my . . . → Read More: From Barbie Houses to Stripper Poles

Playing Supermodel in Parking Lot | Sunset Blvd.

By The Ass Girl, on April 12th, 2013

Time for my Part 2,Saturday Night with my gfs. We decided to meet for a few drinks at a new place to start. One of those Sunset Blvd.places where there is no sign outside telling you the name of it, just a few high price sports cars strategically parked out front.We enjoyed a little gossip . . . → Read More: Playing Supermodel in Parking Lot | Sunset Blvd.

I’m in Love with 7 Gay Men

By The Ass Girl, on May 10th, 2014

Please note that these are NOT fictional characters. They do exist. We just don’t stand a chance with any of them. I have been exposed to nothing I have ever been through before and I don’t know if I can come back from, or actually if I want to. I spent an evening with these . . . → Read More: I’m in Love with 7 Gay Men

Wholesale Packages

By The Ass Girl, on January 24th, 2014

While the wholesale is being constructed, this will be where you can order. All packages include 1 Small, 2 Medium, 2 Large, 1 XLarge Please include a copy of your resale certificate . . . → Read More: Wholesale Packages

Ladies Who Ride 2014! July 20, 2014

By The Ass Girl, on October 24th, 2014

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!

A success filled with fun for a great cause! Annual event with our biggest crowd at Cooks Corner. Thank you to Nidess Dance Academy, Niko Marino; our amazing tattoo artist, Leticia of Just One Glance Photography, Tisha Stephens for doing hair & make up, . . . → Read More: Ladies Who Ride 2014! July 20, 2014

Seriously? Is that your best line? I need a drink

By The Ass Girl, on July 25th, 2016

Scene

A pretty girl is hanging out at a bar talking to the bartender, a female friend. The place is happening. There is loud rock music and the sun is shining. Not a cloud in the sky.

Guy

Hi. Can I get you a drink? I’m buying my friends a round. My name is….

Girl

Powerful Valuable Deserving Shirt

By The Ass Girl, on April 5th, 2017

Black shirt with a scoop neck with the words powerful valuable deserving in red on the front for 19.95 (no cutting unless requested) . . . → Read More: Powerful Valuable Deserving Shirt

Wine Junkie Tank Top

By The Ass Girl, on October 9th, 2016

White tank top with the hashtag wine junkie on the front in red for sale $19.95 ea . . . → Read More: Wine Junkie Tank Top

The Basic Rules of Women

By The Ass Girl, on May 27th, 2013

Basic Rules of Women

I was watching the ending to “Liar, Liar”, where Jim Carrey is riding this stair cart trying to catch up with the plane his ex and son were on and I’m thinking, “This is EXACTLY why men and women have so many problems!”. Here is this sad situation and we . . . → Read More: The Basic Rules of Women

Look.. I Wear Heels Bigger Than Your Dick Tank Top

By The Ass Girl, on May 26th, 2013

White tank with “Look! I Wear Heels Bigger Than Your Dick” in black $19.95 . . . → Read More: Look.. I Wear Heels Bigger Than Your Dick Tank Top

Why I’m Ideal For Trailer Park Reality Show

By The Ass Girl, on April 12th, 2013

Me? My Own Television Show? Can someone please tell me where everyone disappeared to?? I had all of these new hits last month and then.. POOF! Wtf? Did I offend someone? Do I have to start going door to door offering sexual favors? I’m at a loss. When I am at a loss, I decide . . . → Read More: Why I’m Ideal For Trailer Park Reality Show

Turn Me 50 Shades of Grey | An S&M Perpective

By The Ass Girl, on April 12th, 2013

This is my review of this book. Now please understand you do not have to agree with me, it is only my opinion. I am glad I waited a few days. My “hotter than hell” cousin came over to visit (before he goes back to NY BOOO!) and asked me about the book. I gave . . . → Read More: Turn Me 50 Shades of Grey | An S&M Perpective

MY FAVORITE THINGS OF 2012

By The Ass Girl, on April 12th, 2013

MY FAVORITE THINGS OF 2012

www.cookscorners.com No explanation necessary here. Everyone knows I love the place and the people. Nuff said. www.lolashoetique.com Almost every day a new pair of shoes. Great prices. It’s my bedtime story before I go to sleep. I just admire the pics and blissfully close my eyes. www.vendorgirl.com Biker Warehouse..I couldn’t . . . → Read More: MY FAVORITE THINGS OF 2012

Pick me!! Think Traffic! Handcuffs On Rear View Mirror

By The Ass Girl, on April 15th, 2013

PICK ME!! THINK TRAFFIC!

It’s Saturday night and I’m scrambling. I want to win this contest with Think Traffic. If you aren’t familiar with it, I will fill you in if I win, otherwise you’re on your own. They need me to write something about why I should win this Mentorship for a year. With . . . → Read More: Pick me!! Think Traffic! Handcuffs On Rear View Mirror

Thank You Paul Walker!

By The Ass Girl, on May 25th, 2013

Years ago I was on a really bad date at Billys in Newport Beach. I tried to drink enough to drown out the lame conversation I was submitting myself to. It was hopeless until…

Paul Walker walked into the room. You could feel how every woman in the room stopped breathing for a second, then . . . → Read More: Thank You Paul Walker!

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The Joys Of Autism | Mom Look What I Can Do!

How Do You Know If You are any Good at Oral?

Soliciting You All | Booth for Next ANE/AVN Expo

Scaring The Staff At The Viper Room | Jesus Loved Hookers

Falling For Gay Men | You Look Fabulous! I LOVE The Shoes!

What The Fuck 2012? How Do You Get Dick From Richard?

Men Who Cry & Flirting Way To Front Row Of Def Leppard

Pole Dancing Country Style | Men and Women Work The Pole

Shipping Men With Small Penises To China | Improves Self Esteem

Nooners In November | Good Customer Service

Warning Warning | Poor Shooter | Ouch My Eye Hurts

Two For One Blue Plate Special | What Do Guys Really Want?

50 Shades Of S&M | Getting Busted By Landlord

Morality And Sleeping With Your Cousin

From Barbie Houses to Stripper Poles

Playing Supermodel in Parking Lot | Sunset Blvd.

I’m in Love with 7 Gay Men

Wholesale Packages

Ladies Who Ride 2014! July 20, 2014

Seriously? Is that your best line? I need a drink

Powerful Valuable Deserving Shirt

Wine Junkie Tank Top

The Basic Rules of Women

Look.. I Wear Heels Bigger Than Your Dick Tank Top

Why I’m Ideal For Trailer Park Reality Show

Turn Me 50 Shades of Grey | An S&M Perpective

MY FAVORITE THINGS OF 2012

Pick me!! Think Traffic! Handcuffs On Rear View Mirror

Thank You Paul Walker!

Thick Thighs What I Have Going For Me Tank

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