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RED FLAGS! Run away now before it’s too late!


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                                        Happens all the time. Most of us have been involved with one. It will be one of the hardest relationships to get out of and get over. It will scar you for life.
But if you can get out of it early, that wound will heal and no one will even notice the scar. You will even get over it. If you don’t get out of it early, those scars can last for many, many years. Some of them will never go away. You will feel haunted, unworthy, broken.

It goes back to… If it seems too good to be true, it is.

For some reason it is in a woman’s nature to have some insecurity. Sometimes it is obvious, sometimes it’s not. This is our downfall because when we are “swept off our feet”, we cannot see anything in front of us. Too much dust.

Controlling men, in my opinion (which I have stated many times is not for everyone!) have some text book traits.

Usually the relationship starts out with “passionate” moments that feel like nothing you have felt before. I am using exclamation marks because I don’t believe they are, we just interpret them that way. They move fast and progress quickly. Everyone loves him. He is very charming and loves meeting all the important people in your life. He will introduce you to his. The moving in together usually also happens in the “floating on air” phase. When the sex feels amazing and you can’t get enough of each other. You want to spend all of your free time with him and he wants to spend all of his time with you! (red) You will call each other all the time. Text kisses and I miss you. It will start to be a little more him than you but that’s because he loves you so much. These words also come quickly. He will give you the fairy tale. Talk about your future, getting married, having kids, all those things you dreamed about and thought may never happen. Yes, after meeting a couple male friends of yours he seemed a little bothered but it’s only because he has your best interest at heart. It’s obvious they are interested in more. You just don’t see it because you are so trusting and kind. Lucky for you, he can so you may have a little less contact with them, NOT that he is saying that at all! (passive aggressive). This is okay though because when you are home with him, he treats you like a princess. He cooks your meals (dictating what you eat). He talks about how in the future you will have that luxury of having all day, every day to do whatever you want! He loves your girlfriends also! Such amazing women! Such great friends. It’s too bad that not all of them are as lucky as “we” are to find “true love”. The even better part is he has no problem with spending the evening with you and the girls. Shit.. he even buys rounds of drinks. They love him. He treats you so special. Even when you go to the restroom he is watching you to make sure you get there “safely”. Once you get back, he gives you a big hug and tells you he missed you. Sometimes even says “don’t ever leave me alone that long again!”. I mean LOOK at how much he loves you. He may ask if you know that guy who smiled at you but that’s only because he gets a tiny bit jealous. I mean who wouldn’t! He has told you and made you feel like a goddess and just doesn’t want to lose you. He was burned before so you just need to give him a little time to trust you (set up for future issue). You totally understand and you know what. You believe he is worth it!

If he is financially able, why wait? Quit your job and I will take care of everything. He is even going to pay your cell phone bill. No grief at all (thereby having access to all of your emails and text messages). It might even be better if you cut back a little. I mean, it’s understandable when he is spending his money on you. You both sit down, communicate and come up with an amount you are both happy with. Have you held on to your place? Own anything substantial that you can do without. Perhaps to make this easier, just sell those and maybe lease or buy something cheaper. You are going to be living in his castle, you are going to get married. Just don’t worry about it.

Time for your girls night! YAY! Can’t wait. You both have been looking forward to it all week! Wait.. what? He doesn’t feel well. Okay.. it would be selfish of you to go out without him (even though he says you can and to have a good time) but look at those puppy dog eyes. How can you leave him alone when he’s sick. Time to let the girls know you can’t make it tonight. They understand. Speaking of puppy, guess what? He has a surprise for you! Your own puppy! You and his dog that is just the start of your future of joy and happiness. The only thing is he has to go to work and the dog needs to be potty trained. You may have to adjust your schedule. No time for nails this week or lunch with the girls. In the evening by the fire, you cuddle and give that puppy the cutest name.. together!

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Little things have been popping up that are kind of stressing him out. He is working his ass off to support you, in fact everything he is doing is for you! You look forward to that weekend trip you have been planning for months. Yes.. it was going to be an all girls trip but luckily there is room for him. This is exactly what he needs. Get away from everything, relax, jacuzzi and amazing sex. The last few days though he has been a little more irritable. It is probably best to just do everything you can to make everything easier, however the girls keep calling, all excited, asking what time are you going to leave and how many bathing suits are you packing. You are bringing heels right? I will make him his favorite dinner (he’s not cooking anymore?) and ask him afterwards. Timing will be everything. He is having a problem giving you a specific time when you both can leave. He has to get some work done and doesn’t know how long it will take. You completely understand. You will get everything together. Do you think it is bad though? Leaving your brand new puppy this soon?  No! Nope. Of course not. He will be fine. He reminds you to pack his vitamins. You are on top of it! You might not want to pack your 2 piece bikini though, you have put on a little bit of weight.

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It’s the day of the trip and he still isn’t home. He must be swamped because he isn’t answering his phone and he always answers his phone. You tell the girls to head out now, like you all planned. You guys will catch up. It is starting to get dark now and still no word.
I’m sorry! I know you are busy and I shouldn’t have left so many messages or called that many times! No! I did NOT want to embarrass you in front of your co workers. I didn’t want to destroy this life you are working your ass off to build for us. I know! I should have just waited. I should have not added more stress on your shoulders. It is totally my issue. I was being selfish. I will never do it again.

Yes.. you know what? It would not be a fun weekend now. It would not be relaxing so yep.. might as well stay home. I will let the girls know. I’m sorry

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