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Emotionally Unavailable Tank Top

Emotionally Unavailable Shirt

White tank top with the words “Emotionally Unavailable” printed on the front. $19.95 . . . → Read More: Emotionally Unavailable Tank Top

Semen taste yucky?

Yumm?

One of my favorite things about the ANE/AVN is always the samples. I found this product pretty intriguing. The concept is good, bad tasting semen. This could be a problem for someone. They work like those breath strips. You peel the thin piece, place it on your tongue and it melts. Upon semen release it . . . → Read More: Semen taste yucky?

How Do I Know When A Girl Wants To Bump Uglies?

#RatedRaunchy

Hello Ass Girl,

I seem to have problems detecting when a girl wants to bump uglies with me. I am really shy, and can’t seem to pull the trigger. How do I know – what should I look for? or maybe I shouldn’t care?

Thanks, Michael from Denver

#RatedRaunchy

Dearest Michael,

First of all, . . . → Read More: How Do I Know When A Girl Wants To Bump Uglies?

You Had Me.. Until You Opened Your Mouth

When you talk it makes it worse!

When you talk it makes it worse!

I have this friend right now who is currently in a dilemma. Why is that you ask? Well, because her boyfriend couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

I am not sure why it is but it seems men in lengthy and healthy relationships have to screw it up . . . → Read More: You Had Me.. Until You Opened Your Mouth

Faster Than A Horny Man? | How About My Car!

Hot Wings Panties

I know! There is nothing faster but you are wrong! Can I just say this is going to sound crazy at first but it really isn’t.

So this is the deal… My car has been driving by itself. I swear! It sounds impossible and at first I couldn’t believe it, nor could anyone I . . . → Read More: Faster Than A Horny Man? | How About My Car!

Valentine’s Date 4 Hire

Your Valentines Date

Valentine’s Day got you worried? Not sure how you are going to pull it off with all those couples invites? I have the perfect solution! It’s a new service I started called “Dream Date For Hire”.

Our Current Dates Available For Hire:

Your Valentines Date

As you can see..we only hire professionals. We want . . . → Read More: Valentine’s Date 4 Hire

Falling For Gay Men | You Look Fabulous! I LOVE The Shoes!

Gay Men Love These Shoes!

I have been exposed to something I have never experienced before and I don’t know if I can come back from it, actually if I want to. I spent an evening with these phenomenal men. Let’s keep it simple(for the men reading this) and call them Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. It . . . → Read More: Falling For Gay Men | You Look Fabulous! I LOVE The Shoes!

Why I’m Ideal For Trailer Park Reality Show

TheAssGirl Smoking Cigar

Me? My Own Television Show? Can someone please tell me where everyone disappeared to?? I had all of these new hits last month and then.. POOF! Wtf? Did I offend someone? Do I have to start going door to door offering sexual favors? I’m at a loss. When I am at a loss, I decide . . . → Read More: Why I’m Ideal For Trailer Park Reality Show

Pick me!! Think Traffic! Handcuffs On Rear View Mirror

Flying

PICK ME!! THINK TRAFFIC!

It’s Saturday night and I’m scrambling. I want to win this contest with Think Traffic. If you aren’t familiar with it, I will fill you in if I win, otherwise you’re on your own. They need me to write something about why I should win this Mentorship for a year. With . . . → Read More: Pick me!! Think Traffic! Handcuffs On Rear View Mirror

Thank You Paul Walker!

He changed my life and doesn't even know it!

Years ago I was on a really bad date at Billys in Newport Beach. I tried to drink enough to drown out the lame conversation I was submitting myself to. It was hopeless until…

Paul Walker walked into the room. You could feel how every woman in the room stopped breathing for a second, then . . . → Read More: Thank You Paul Walker!

The Basic Rules of Women

One of our favorite positions

Basic Rules of Women

I was watching the ending to “Liar, Liar”, where Jim Carrey is riding this stair cart trying to catch up with the plane his ex and son were on and I’m thinking, “This is EXACTLY why men and women have so many problems!”. Here is this sad situation and we . . . → Read More: The Basic Rules of Women

Ladies Who Ride 2014! July 20, 2014

IMG_2016

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!

A success filled with fun for a great cause! Annual event with our biggest crowd at Cooks Corner. Thank you to Nidess Dance Academy, Niko Marino; our amazing tattoo artist, Leticia of Just One Glance Photography, Tisha Stephens for doing hair & make up, . . . → Read More: Ladies Who Ride 2014! July 20, 2014

You’re Not Worthy Tank Top

You're Not Worthy

Grey tank top with the words You’re not worthy on the front for $19.95 ea . . . → Read More: You’re Not Worthy Tank Top

Could Maternal Instinct Be Our Achilles Heel?

achilles

Could our maternal instinct be our Achilles heel? Think about it. I am not saying it tied to mother’s necessarily, even though historically that is what they say. I am talking about the instinct. There are many women out there who don’t have this. A man can have it. Sex doesn’t mater. I know a . . . → Read More: Could Maternal Instinct Be Our Achilles Heel?

Lactose Intolerant Baby Onesie!

Lactose - logo

White baby onesie with red lettering that says Lactose Intolerant $14.95 . . . → Read More: Lactose Intolerant Baby Onesie!

Chop! Chop! Chop up those Carrot Danglers!

your_ego

 

I HATE those Carrot Danglers!

Take a look at my picture. See the ass? See the ass dangling the carrot? That is pretty much how I visualize this category of men in real life..

You know the guy. The guy who has money so he feels he is entitled to being treated better . . . → Read More: Chop! Chop! Chop up those Carrot Danglers!

Wholesale Packages

wholesale

While the wholesale is being constructed, this will be where you can order. All packages include 1 Small, 2 Medium, 2 Large, 1 XLarge Please include a copy of your resale certificate . . . → Read More: Wholesale Packages

Ladies First! Where Are Your Manners!

Friends Forever

Friends Forever

There is something that female friendships can bring to your life that no other can. Why is that? Why can’t a man fill that void? If you say you have one that does, you are wrong. I am not sure if it’s the idea that they can really identify with anything you . . . → Read More: Ladies First! Where Are Your Manners!

RED FLAGS! Run away now before it’s too late!

controlling men2

Happens all the time. Most of us have been involved with one. It will be one of the hardest relationships to get out of and get over. It will scar you for life. But if you can get out of it early, that wound will heal and no one will even notice . . . → Read More: RED FLAGS! Run away now before it’s too late!

Eavesdrop On True Convos Between Women Part 1.. The Male Ego

male ego

Lately anytime I am ready to write a blog about something I make the mistake of checking Yahoo first. There always seems to be a political story or tragic happening that instantaneously changes my mood. My humor and sarcasm get thrown out the door and I am not able to get back to taking things . . . → Read More: Eavesdrop On True Convos Between Women Part 1.. The Male Ego