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How Do You Know If You are any Good at Oral?

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

Loverboy Concert

Absentmindedness? Not because I am late with my blog. That is too easy and we are talking about me! As you can see I have been on a couple excursions. All very fun ones. I will not allow anything else. Unfortunately, every time I began to write my blog…something kept knocking at my brains door.

. . . → Read More: How Do You Know If You are any Good at Oral?

Men Who Cry & Flirting Way To Front Row Of Def Leppard

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

My heat press is warming up. I still have a bunch of shirts I need to make for Sunday. I’ve been so busy trying to do everything and cover all of my bases that I haven’t even had a chance to go and buy myself more wine..in like a WEEK! I had a booth for . . . → Read More: Men Who Cry & Flirting Way To Front Row Of Def Leppard

The Joys Of Autism | Mom Look What I Can Do!

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

Bankrupt Films Water Bottle

What am I up to now you ask? A couple people I care about have recently found out their child has autism. They have a long, stressful road ahead of them but I want them to know that there may be some unexpected surprises along the way.

THE JOYS OF AUTISM

When my oldest was . . . → Read More: The Joys Of Autism | Mom Look What I Can Do!

Scaring The Staff At The Viper Room | Jesus Loved Hookers

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

Sorry for the delay but I got wrapped up with watching this tv series about hookers and Jesus. Totally the truth! Only three episodes which was unfortunate but hey.. it was better than Gigilos. That show was horrible! Of course I already pretty much figured Jesus loved hookers. I mean, he loves everybody. I thought . . . → Read More: Scaring The Staff At The Viper Room | Jesus Loved Hookers

What The Fuck 2012? How Do You Get Dick From Richard?

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

WTF?

– Why is it okay to brake and let a woman cross in front of you but when you do it for a man, they get all weird about it. Almost embarrassed.

– An extremely large man riding a sportster (or scooter). Just doesn’t look right.

– How do you get the name Dick . . . → Read More: What The Fuck 2012? How Do You Get Dick From Richard?

50 Shades Of S&M | Getting Busted By Landlord

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

Big Ass Big Bike

I decided to try something different this month. I am going to be posting my review of Fifty Shades of Grey so I figured lets stick with that S&M theme. I hope that isn’t a problem for anybody…

Now I know I seem like a woman of “experience” mostly due to the fact that I . . . → Read More: 50 Shades Of S&M | Getting Busted By Landlord

Morality And Sleeping With Your Cousin

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

Morality? Gets in the way of fun? Nahh ! LOL. May cause a pause at times? Yea..probably. I scratch my brain and have more wine. I think morality is different for everyone. All I know is that the only person who can make you happy is yourself, so do whatever it is you want to . . . → Read More: Morality And Sleeping With Your Cousin

2 Condoms For My First Orgasm | Hitting Home Runs

By The Ass Girl, on April 9th, 2013

TheAssGirl Hugging

I know! I know! Orgasms? How predictable! Trust me, being the scorpio I am, I tried desperately to come up with something else. I did not want to make it easy. I am a stubborn, pain in the ass (when I’m not wearing my…) Wait! What was I saying? Oh yea, orgasms. I thought about . . . → Read More: 2 Condoms For My First Orgasm | Hitting Home Runs

Nooners In November | Good Customer Service

By The Ass Girl, on April 10th, 2013

Favorite Phrase I Have Used This Month: I am ALL about customer service! Just talk to any of the men I have slept with.

It is my birthday month so I have taken a few days to come up with a theme. Too busy being self-absorbed in my increasing age, inability to continue to lose . . . → Read More: Nooners In November | Good Customer Service

Shipping Men With Small Penises To China | Improves Self Esteem

By The Ass Girl, on April 10th, 2013

Stocking Stuffers

I have been sitting here trying to figure out a ‘J’ word to go with January. It’s really pissing me off. I have already used jack offs (although I do have a neverending list of stories under that catagory). I thought about “Juggs” or “Jauggernaughts” then I realized I’m not so sure how to spell . . . → Read More: Shipping Men With Small Penises To China | Improves Self Esteem

Warning Warning | Poor Shooter | Ouch My Eye Hurts

By The Ass Girl, on April 10th, 2013

Watch Out For Bad Cum Shooters

WARNING! WARNING!

What is going on? What is with the urgent message? WTF?

I am sorry to have to interrupt your Friday evening escapades but I received a phone call that was very upsetting to me. A dear friend called me very distraut. She was inconsolable. What happened? She explained…OH NO! Not again! I became . . . → Read More: Warning Warning | Poor Shooter | Ouch My Eye Hurts

From Barbie Houses to Stripper Poles

By The Ass Girl, on April 12th, 2013

Hot Stripper Play

BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS!!

It’s Friday night and I am sitting here daydreaming about living in my Barbie House. My kids, pets and my days of the week. Why am I calling it the Barbie House? Probably because when I was young I desperately wanted one. We couldn’t afford it so I would pack all of my . . . → Read More: From Barbie Houses to Stripper Poles

Playing Supermodel in Parking Lot | Sunset Blvd.

By The Ass Girl, on April 12th, 2013

Two Girls Smelling Pink Roses

Time for my Part 2,Saturday Night with my gfs. We decided to meet for a few drinks at a new place to start. One of those Sunset Blvd.places where there is no sign outside telling you the name of it, just a few high price sports cars strategically parked out front.We enjoyed a little gossip . . . → Read More: Playing Supermodel in Parking Lot | Sunset Blvd.

Thank You Paul Walker!

By The Ass Girl, on May 25th, 2013

Years ago I was on a really bad date at Billys in Newport Beach. I tried to drink enough to drown out the lame conversation I was submitting myself to. It was hopeless until…

Paul Walker walked into the room. You could feel how every woman in the room stopped breathing for a second, then . . . → Read More: Thank You Paul Walker!

Transformation 2013!

By The Ass Girl, on June 27th, 2013

There is nothing in this post on sex so men, you may want to go to another post.

You only live once. That’s my motto to live by so I like to try everything once. I have a great friend who is a Physician Associate in Aesthetic Medicine. I overheard her asking our mutual friend . . . → Read More: Transformation 2013!

Wholesale Packages

By The Ass Girl, on January 24th, 2014

While the wholesale is being constructed, this will be where you can order. All packages include 1 Small, 2 Medium, 2 Large, 1 XLarge Please include a copy of your resale certificate . . . → Read More: Wholesale Packages

“WHATEVER!” WTF is that supposed to mean?

By The Ass Girl, on March 15th, 2014

Male opinion vs female opinion The winner is….

“Whatever”. That’s my answer. Now can anyone actually tell me who won? Nope, didn’t think so. Whatever is right up there with the blinking smiley face you receive after a text. It’s saying, I am pretending to hear what you but am really too busy . . . → Read More: “WHATEVER!” WTF is that supposed to mean?

You Had Me.. Until You Opened Your Mouth

By The Ass Girl, on May 15th, 2013

When you talk it makes it worse!

I have this friend right now who is currently in a dilemma. Why is that you ask? Well, because her boyfriend couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

I am not sure why it is but it seems men in lengthy and healthy relationships have to screw it up . . . → Read More: You Had Me.. Until You Opened Your Mouth

How Do I Know When A Girl Wants To Bump Uglies?

By The Ass Girl, on May 7th, 2013

Hello Ass Girl,

I seem to have problems detecting when a girl wants to bump uglies with me. I am really shy, and can’t seem to pull the trigger. How do I know – what should I look for? or maybe I shouldn’t care?

Thanks, Michael from Denver

#RatedRaunchy

Dearest Michael,

First of all, . . . → Read More: How Do I Know When A Girl Wants To Bump Uglies?

MY FAVORITE THINGS OF 2012

By The Ass Girl, on April 12th, 2013

MY FAVORITE THINGS OF 2012

www.cookscorners.com No explanation necessary here. Everyone knows I love the place and the people. Nuff said. www.lolashoetique.com Almost every day a new pair of shoes. Great prices. It’s my bedtime story before I go to sleep. I just admire the pics and blissfully close my eyes. www.vendorgirl.com Biker Warehouse..I couldn’t . . . → Read More: MY FAVORITE THINGS OF 2012

Pick me!! Think Traffic! Handcuffs On Rear View Mirror

By The Ass Girl, on April 15th, 2013

PICK ME!! THINK TRAFFIC!

It’s Saturday night and I’m scrambling. I want to win this contest with Think Traffic. If you aren’t familiar with it, I will fill you in if I win, otherwise you’re on your own. They need me to write something about why I should win this Mentorship for a year. With . . . → Read More: Pick me!! Think Traffic! Handcuffs On Rear View Mirror

Your First Phone Call With A Girl | No Opinions Please!

By The Ass Girl, on April 15th, 2013

Love Naked Men Who Dont Talk Panties

I’m hoping everyone had a wonderful holiday and didn’t empty their xanax bottle (those babies can be hard to get). I’m still preparing for the AVN/ANE Expo in Vegas.

During my holiday I contemplated my goals for the New Year. I thought about making some changes..maybe it was time to try dating again. HUGE mistake! . . . → Read More: Your First Phone Call With A Girl | No Opinions Please!

I Love Naked Men Who Don’t Talk Tank-Top

By The Ass Girl, on April 16th, 2013

I Love Naked Men Who Don't Talk Tea Shirt

White tank-top with the words “I Love Naked Men Who Don’t Talk” written on front. $19.95 . . . → Read More: I Love Naked Men Who Don’t Talk Tank-Top

Ladies Who Ride 2014! July 20, 2014

By The Ass Girl, on October 24th, 2014

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!

A success filled with fun for a great cause! Annual event with our biggest crowd at Cooks Corner. Thank you to Nidess Dance Academy, Niko Marino; our amazing tattoo artist, Leticia of Just One Glance Photography, Tisha Stephens for doing hair & make up, . . . → Read More: Ladies Who Ride 2014! July 20, 2014