My December Delights are pretty obvious by my pictures.
Matt Sorum
Being the concert whore that I am, these two were definitely my highlights! Kid Rock..private show at Malibu Inn and Camp Freddy at the Roxy. Both small venues..both kick ass! Everything about them..hot guys, entertaining selection of skanky chicks and me having enough balls to wear a pair of boyshort underwear along with chaps and one of my tanks. My clothing line was a hit! Had fans in men and women alike. Great times, awesome friends and beer. It just doesn’t get any better. PLUS I was even asked by one of the Beverly Hills Housewives to bend over, so she could take a picture of my boyshorts and then my tank. That was awesome! Thank you Karma. I may still be broke but I am rich in experience. That is for sure!
Jail Time Or Fine?
The only pissy part of December was dealing with the DMV crap. Still saying DUI. Do you know they have a quota? I wasn’t even driving. Went to court, instead of paying more money than it would cost me in the long run, even though I desperately wanted to fight this BS, agreed to wet reckless. Insurance company was like, DO IT! Signed up at the Academy for Driving cause of DMV and found out that alot of these people get screwed over by the DMV. It isn’t governed by anybody. One girl was parked, dropping off her boyfriend, had one beer and a cough drop, DUI. Wtf! Even the Academy wasn’t surprised. I guess it happens alot! I figured maybe it will inspire a few new phrases. Cross of the bucket list. I ask about the sliding scale fee..considering my income. What is the sliding scale? Do you make under $279 per month and can you prove it? Seriously? $279? What kind of scale is that?! I mean if that is all you make you have a hell of alot of worse problems! And how can they afford a car? Gas? So basically there is no sliding scale.The entrance lady..Do you drink? Yep. Take pills? Yep. You think it interferes with your work? It is my work!
You think you have a problem? Nope. Ever do jail time? I’m thinking about doing it instead of the fine. I mean, everyone else has and how long would it be for? My mom’s visiting so it would be like a vacay if you met my kids. She just stared at me. Do I need to pack or anything? No response. Alot of unhappy people there. So here I am, looking up on google, how do you go to jail? Do you just show up? I don’t know. Gotta try everything once. I can pass out the idiot driver I got into the tiny ass accident in with who went to the doctor 33 times in 3 months and tried to sue me for $35,000 for a ding on my car that cost $400 to fix. Yes..that could work!
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Say Something Raunchy