WARNING! WARNING!
What is going on? What is with the urgent message? WTF?
I am sorry to have to interrupt your Friday evening escapades but I received a phone call that was very upsetting to me. A dear friend called me very distraut. She was inconsolable. What happened? She explained…OH NO! Not again! I became frustrated then angry then thoughtful.. Why has this never been addressed? How many women does this have to happen to until someone says something…does something! (lightbulb!)
There is an epidemic going on that I think needs to be brought to the public’s attention. It’s been a problem for years yet no one is willing to talk about it. I think I have mentioned it before but no one seems to take the problem seriously. Too many women have had to deal with this problem privately..hiding in shame..double-locking the door and refusing to come outside.. I have dealt with this myself…Very embarrassing. I think if it hasn’t yet touched your family circle, it has affected one of your close friends.
Dealing With A Poor Shooter – Getting Cum In Your Eye
We can’t all be the best at everything we do. We can improve, if we practice and work hard. It is not a “natural talent”. There is nothing more complex than dealing with a poor shooter. We don’t want to be harsh or attack the origin but we also do NOT want it to happen again. A woman’s face seems like a perfect canvas to paint on…correct? Not all of us are artists..some are paint by numbers. When the “shooter” hits the eye..or ends up in the eye…this is NOT a triumph. This is a disaster. Our eye becomes red…throbbing..swollen and incredibly painful. It becomes increasingly worse. This sucks! I think there has to be a way to work this out and save all of the many, silently, suffering women.
Practice At Home First
I would like to offer suggestions. Obviously! Practicing at home will help improve anything and everything! If ladies you see this as a “painful” issue, you could, right before, in a sexy voice…maybe mention that above the eye area is fine, the nose is okay, neck is good…pretty much all over the head you can feel comfortable with…. However, the eye area, no can do. 
If you are all about eye contact..goggles could be a good idea. Perhaps a safe word would work for you? “Incoming” or “Duck” could work well. This way the special someone could have a heads up. If you are not comfortable with talking about the problem with the shooter, your only choice is to close your eyes and don’t open until it stops. Not real romantic but generally, if this sort of play is happening, romance isn’t part of the equation.
Please understand…it hurts like hell when this happens. It looks weird and trying to scramble up a bullshit explanation is a total pain in the ass. A mussels shell did what? The pen went where? Just not believable. No time to linger in the bliss..
This has been a public service/safety announcement sponsored by The Ass Girl.
For fun..a sneak peak at product testing..behind the scenes!
Say Something Raunchy