Myth #3: Sex Number. No one is ever honest on this one

Cut men’s number in half and triple the women’s.

Favorite Line:

The only time I believe in the power of attraction is when I buy XL condoms!

Re-gifting a Broken Vibrator

Okay…so I KNOW! I KNOW!  “I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date!”. No, I’m not a rabbit but I did own one! No, not the actual animal but the vibrator. No, it didn’t work for me but thankfully I was able to regift it as a Christmas gift. HEY! That thing cost like over $100! and the wife was the one who said she wanted it. Who am I to judge? Just cause it didn’t work for me doesn’t mean it won’t work for anyone else. I don’t want to brag but I believe my xmas gift brought that couple (or atleast the wife) more joy and happiness than any other. The gift that keeps on giving. Sigh.. ANYWAYS! I have been swamped! Mother f^*kin income tax (always a joy!), #oddamn kids (always a joy!) , dog got a rash (NOT a joy!) etc. It never ends. Then things got really serious…no big kahuna.

At that point, I am fucked and not in a good way. Tried not to wallow, pulled up my g-string, threw on some 8 in. heels and tried to get my strut on. It has taken me a little longer than usual but I knew it would be more than made up for on the Laughlin Weekend. I ordered stickers and am trying to swing some transfers. Pending any unexpected 3rd degree burns once I attempt to work the heat press, I will be there! Of course, my accomplice seated right beside me. I got my bikini and towel ready (embroidered with the website) and am ready to get down with my bad self. Hopefully, I will see some of you there. Just make sure you introduce yourself because odds are, we will be “tipsy”. Now remember! What happens in Laughlin, stays in Laughlin. Wait? That isn’t the right phrase? Well screw you. That’s my story and I’m sticking with it. So CHEERS! To better days and better lays!