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Adult Novelty Expo

While at the Adult Novelty Expo in Vegas I received alot of requests to review products. Samples were being offered to me left and right. We all know I will try anything once and the idea of a breath spray to get your libido in overdrive? Well how could I not?? The only catch..I agreed to write a review on my site! LOVE IT!

Miyagi Bakes “Me Wet”

This is a gourmet sugar cookie. The taste was actually okay. I didn’t know what to expect, I thought it might taste stale or bland, but it wasn’t. Of course, as always, beer was the chaser. Gobbled it up and waited for the explosion! And waited..and waited..and waited… Nothing :( I am not giving up on this cookie yet though..Still have one that is supposed to mellow me out..so let’s see!

GlassDildoMe.com

While networling in Las Vegas I met this amazing group of people..one in particular. She was very welcoming and very open with advice. This is her website and let me tell you..not only are the glass dildos AMAZINGLY HOT! but the fetish goods, tasty treats and jewelry..my happy place! She even will make custom dildos, you give measurements, design ideas and they will work with you to come up with exactly what you want. Plus! glass lasts a lifetime and hypo-allergenic! Lord knows none of us wants to have an allergic reaction to that. Can you imagine?!! Take a peak. I likey!

Anti-Biker Butt-For A Comfortable Ride

This was a little more tuff for me. Why? I had no idea what biker butt was. Thru research (which was hell..hours of beer and shots) I discovered that there is such a thing but it is called monkey butt. It’s saddle sores, rash’, caused by long rides. Ouch! This stuff is made of soy and the one I have smells like leather. Unfortunately, having an ass smell like leather really doesn’t make it more appealing to me. Kind of does the opposite. My opinion, unless I offer to rub this on the man’s ass myself, no one is going to buy this. Men would be too paranoid and women, I found out (being the brilliant shoppers they are) know that this is the same as Bag Balm you can get at Feed stores for alot less. Sorry but that’s what it boils down to. What am I going to do with this? The texture, the feel, I am using it as a leg cream. It is extremely moisturizing and the smell of leather on a woman, hello! Men will eat that shit up. If you can’t ride your Harley then close your eyes and come on over here! Oh geesh! I can’t believe I wrote something that lame. I SUCK when I’m sober!

ZLOA Honey-Liquid Drink

Okay so we were sitting around and decided to down this. It looked like there was some sprinkles of something in the honey but not quite sure if that can happen since I don’t like honey. SHOCKING I KNOW! We licked the shot clean and waited. I casually would glance over at her to see if she was looking at me longingly..Then her ears got red and I guess mine too. There was a feeling of flushness and felt a little cloudy. That lasted about 2 minutes. We waited. I watched and unfortunately nada :( Sorry ZLOA. I was hornier at breakfast and all I had was Chex cereal.

Swing Her-Breath Spray

This one I was pretty optimistic about (NOT!). A breath spray? Anyways, did a squirt and it was the most disgusting taste I have ever put in my mouth EVER! (I know..I know..That’s just begging for a dirty tidbit). It really was nasty. The tongue felt a little tingle but the taste was so horrible, all we wanted to do was get the taste gone. I went with old reliable..my dream man..The Big Kahuna. Now he tastes good! I gulped him down and lingered..Did I feel better from the spray or the wine? I checked out me amiga and she was yawning. Yep..this shit blows. I then went to the website listed and guess what? Domain for sale. Guess I should have checked that first. I’m sending the male bottle to whoever places the next order. A Bon Voyage from Swing Her!

Lubravibe.com

Ok, first I just love the packaging on this. Why? No idea. Maybe it’s because it can pass for so many things. You look and it just doesn’t look like lube. They were handing out this stuff EVERYWHERE at the AVN Expo. Crazy promos! No lube hand! This is correct. It doesn’t leave any slippery stuff on your hands. The problem with that is if you are using lube, you NEED the slippery stuff. It tells you that you may need to do numerous applications. Yes, while the man is sitting there trying to ram something somewhere that doesn’t want to be rammed or vice versa, I want to sit in that uncomfortable position while he applies coats of lube. Alot of times also it is used in a very strategic, sneaky, blink and you’ll miss it way. There some moving around, a little poke, Oh no! Not going in there, so they grab that little bottle they have hidden and claim that you need to just give it a minute and then BOOM! It slides a bit easier. Ya, you can’t do that with this. What it does state, which is correct, is that it has “360 Accushot Technology”. This shit shoots atleast 4 feet from the bottle. You can flip it upside down, turn it, it works. Although, why anyone would need that beats me. Maybe if you’re filming a couple and things look tight, you could just shoot some at them? I don’t know. What I do know is that it doesn’t work unfortunately. Water-based defeats the purpose of lube. Sorry but thumbs down.

Jelique.com-Tasty Twist

I absolutely LOVED LOVED this companies products! All the ones I tried were amazing! I even convinced my mother to give one a try and she was loving the taste. They have a few products, but I can only speak for what I tried. I LOVE Tasty Twist-a cream in different flavors that you can use pretty much anywhere that increases sensitivity and tastes yummy! Nipple Nibblers-Yummy and really does tingle. All are gluten free and Lactose free for those allergy sensitive people out there. They have a few other products out there but I haven’t tried them. If somebody can get hold of some..I am all over it! The best part for me though..they are just starting to carry this product at ConRev! Happy Day for me!

 

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