adult shirts « The Ass Girl

How Do You Know If You are any Good at Oral?

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

Absentmindedness? Not because I am late with my blog. That is too easy and we are talking about me! As you can see I have been on a couple excursions. All very fun ones. I will not allow anything else. Unfortunately, every time I began to write my blog…something kept knocking at my brains door.

. . . → Read More: How Do You Know If You are any Good at Oral?

Men Who Cry & Flirting Way To Front Row Of Def Leppard

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

My heat press is warming up. I still have a bunch of shirts I need to make for Sunday. I’ve been so busy trying to do everything and cover all of my bases that I haven’t even had a chance to go and buy myself more wine..in like a WEEK! I had a booth for . . . → Read More: Men Who Cry & Flirting Way To Front Row Of Def Leppard

The Joys Of Autism | Mom Look What I Can Do!

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

What am I up to now you ask? A couple people I care about have recently found out their child has autism. They have a long, stressful road ahead of them but I want them to know that there may be some unexpected surprises along the way.

THE JOYS OF AUTISM

When my oldest was . . . → Read More: The Joys Of Autism | Mom Look What I Can Do!

Soliciting You All | Booth for Next ANE/AVN Expo

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

SELL!! SELL!!

I’M TRYING!!

Here I go.. It’s a another month and I’m still climbing that mountain. Mountain? Yes..that mountain to get to the top so I can get the pot of gold! Okay! Okay! I know that is supposed to be a rainbow but I live in California and it hardly ever rains. Could . . . → Read More: Soliciting You All | Booth for Next ANE/AVN Expo

What The Fuck 2012? How Do You Get Dick From Richard?

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

WTF?

– Why is it okay to brake and let a woman cross in front of you but when you do it for a man, they get all weird about it. Almost embarrassed.

– An extremely large man riding a sportster (or scooter). Just doesn’t look right.

– How do you get the name Dick . . . → Read More: What The Fuck 2012? How Do You Get Dick From Richard?

Scaring The Staff At The Viper Room | Jesus Loved Hookers

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

Sorry for the delay but I got wrapped up with watching this tv series about hookers and Jesus. Totally the truth! Only three episodes which was unfortunate but hey.. it was better than Gigilos. That show was horrible! Of course I already pretty much figured Jesus loved hookers. I mean, he loves everybody. I thought . . . → Read More: Scaring The Staff At The Viper Room | Jesus Loved Hookers

Pole Dancing Country Style | Men and Women Work The Pole

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

Photo Mayhem – Meets the Stripper Pole A ho-down complete with chaps, stripper poles, and more.

[nggallery id=17]

Ladies Who Ride ’12 | Photos

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

MUCHOS GRACIAS!

There was no way I couldn’t take time out to thank those amazing people out there who helped out at the Ladies Who Ride ’12 and did it all free!

I love how in the world today, there are still so many wonderful people, who volunteered their time, for this event. AND did . . . → Read More: Ladies Who Ride ’12 | Photos

Warning Warning | Poor Shooter | Ouch My Eye Hurts

By The Ass Girl, on April 10th, 2013

WARNING! WARNING!

What is going on? What is with the urgent message? WTF?

I am sorry to have to interrupt your Friday evening escapades but I received a phone call that was very upsetting to me. A dear friend called me very distraut. She was inconsolable. What happened? She explained…OH NO! Not again! I became . . . → Read More: Warning Warning | Poor Shooter | Ouch My Eye Hurts

Shipping Men With Small Penises To China | Improves Self Esteem

By The Ass Girl, on April 10th, 2013

I have been sitting here trying to figure out a ‘J’ word to go with January. It’s really pissing me off. I have already used jack offs (although I do have a neverending list of stories under that catagory). I thought about “Juggs” or “Jauggernaughts” then I realized I’m not so sure how to spell . . . → Read More: Shipping Men With Small Penises To China | Improves Self Esteem

Myth #6: Machismo is Sexy-Hot

By The Ass Girl, on April 10th, 2013

Machismo.. Doesn’t that word just scream gold chain, hairy chest, the scent of Old Spice, white socks worn with sandals, speeding by you in an Iroc? Pretty hot huh?

NOT! It also screams arrogance to me and I hate arrogance. It also screams bushy hair to me and I’m not sure why but that leaves . . . → Read More: Myth #6: Machismo is Sexy-Hot

Two For One Blue Plate Special | What Do Guys Really Want?

By The Ass Girl, on April 10th, 2013

One night (drinking) I was hanging with a gf..drinking some tequila(Jose’ I’m broke so the shitty stuff but tolerable in a one up kind of situation) we decided to go on Plenty of Fish and make a post. Not a usual post but a “Two For One Blue Plate Special”. IT WAS AWESOME! We . . . → Read More: Two For One Blue Plate Special | What Do Guys Really Want?

50 Shades Of S&M | Getting Busted By Landlord

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

I decided to try something different this month. I am going to be posting my review of Fifty Shades of Grey so I figured lets stick with that S&M theme. I hope that isn’t a problem for anybody…

Now I know I seem like a woman of “experience” mostly due to the fact that I . . . → Read More: 50 Shades Of S&M | Getting Busted By Landlord

Morality And Sleeping With Your Cousin

By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013

Morality? Gets in the way of fun? Nahh ! LOL. May cause a pause at times? Yea..probably. I scratch my brain and have more wine. I think morality is different for everyone. All I know is that the only person who can make you happy is yourself, so do whatever it is you want to . . . → Read More: Morality And Sleeping With Your Cousin

Falling For Gay Men | You Look Fabulous! I LOVE The Shoes!

By The Ass Girl, on April 12th, 2013

I have been exposed to something I have never experienced before and I don’t know if I can come back from it, actually if I want to. I spent an evening with these phenomenal men. Let’s keep it simple(for the men reading this) and call them Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. It . . . → Read More: Falling For Gay Men | You Look Fabulous! I LOVE The Shoes!

From Barbie Houses to Stripper Poles

By The Ass Girl, on April 12th, 2013

BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS!!

It’s Friday night and I am sitting here daydreaming about living in my Barbie House. My kids, pets and my days of the week. Why am I calling it the Barbie House? Probably because when I was young I desperately wanted one. We couldn’t afford it so I would pack all of my . . . → Read More: From Barbie Houses to Stripper Poles

Shut Up! I Wear Heels Bigger Than Your Dick Boy Short

By The Ass Girl, on April 17th, 2013

Shut Up! I Wear Heels Bigger Than Your Dick Panties

White boyshort panties with Shut Up! I Wear Heels Bigger Than Your Dick on back. $19.95 . . . → Read More: Shut Up! I Wear Heels Bigger Than Your Dick Boy Short

Faster Than A Horny Man? | How About My Car!

By The Ass Girl, on April 15th, 2013

I know! There is nothing faster but you are wrong! Can I just say this is going to sound crazy at first but it really isn’t.

So this is the deal… My car has been driving by itself. I swear! It sounds impossible and at first I couldn’t believe it, nor could anyone I . . . → Read More: Faster Than A Horny Man? | How About My Car!

Semen taste yucky?

By The Ass Girl, on April 28th, 2013

One of my favorite things about the ANE/AVN is always the samples. I found this product pretty intriguing. The concept is good, bad tasting semen. This could be a problem for someone. They work like those breath strips. You peel the thin piece, place it on your tongue and it melts. Upon semen release it . . . → Read More: Semen taste yucky?

Sensitive Coochie?

By The Ass Girl, on April 28th, 2013

I love discovering something that there is a genuine need for. The sort of product that you see and think, “Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?” Well, surprise! Someone else beat you to it. The creators of Luvena did.

I am not going to get into the medical stuff and research because it’s . . . → Read More: Sensitive Coochie?

How Do I Know When A Girl Wants To Bump Uglies?

By The Ass Girl, on May 7th, 2013

Hello Ass Girl,

I seem to have problems detecting when a girl wants to bump uglies with me. I am really shy, and can’t seem to pull the trigger. How do I know – what should I look for? or maybe I shouldn’t care?

Thanks, Michael from Denver

#RatedRaunchy

Dearest Michael,

First of all, . . . → Read More: How Do I Know When A Girl Wants To Bump Uglies?

The Dildo Dr.

By The Ass Girl, on April 28th, 2013

There I was driving to Vegas when I see this truck. I laugh hysterically and snap a picture. Imagine, my car with TheAssGirl magnets driving beside a truck with The Dildo Dr. on it. It doesn’t get much better than that!

Talking to the Dildo Dr. was much more informative than you would think. I . . . → Read More: The Dildo Dr.

Valentine’s Date 4 Hire

By The Ass Girl, on April 15th, 2013

Valentine’s Day got you worried? Not sure how you are going to pull it off with all those couples invites? I have the perfect solution! It’s a new service I started called “Dream Date For Hire”.

Our Current Dates Available For Hire:

Your Valentines Date

As you can see..we only hire professionals. We want . . . → Read More: Valentine’s Date 4 Hire

Your First Phone Call With A Girl | No Opinions Please!

By The Ass Girl, on April 15th, 2013

I’m hoping everyone had a wonderful holiday and didn’t empty their xanax bottle (those babies can be hard to get). I’m still preparing for the AVN/ANE Expo in Vegas.

During my holiday I contemplated my goals for the New Year. I thought about making some changes..maybe it was time to try dating again. HUGE mistake! . . . → Read More: Your First Phone Call With A Girl | No Opinions Please!

Turn Me 50 Shades of Grey | An S&M Perpective

By The Ass Girl, on April 12th, 2013

This is my review of this book. Now please understand you do not have to agree with me, it is only my opinion. I am glad I waited a few days. My “hotter than hell” cousin came over to visit (before he goes back to NY BOOO!) and asked me about the book. I gave . . . → Read More: Turn Me 50 Shades of Grey | An S&M Perpective

Playing Supermodel in Parking Lot | Sunset Blvd.

By The Ass Girl, on April 12th, 2013

Time for my Part 2,Saturday Night with my gfs. We decided to meet for a few drinks at a new place to start. One of those Sunset Blvd.places where there is no sign outside telling you the name of it, just a few high price sports cars strategically parked out front.We enjoyed a little gossip . . . → Read More: Playing Supermodel in Parking Lot | Sunset Blvd.

Why I’m Ideal For Trailer Park Reality Show

By The Ass Girl, on April 12th, 2013

Me? My Own Television Show? Can someone please tell me where everyone disappeared to?? I had all of these new hits last month and then.. POOF! Wtf? Did I offend someone? Do I have to start going door to door offering sexual favors? I’m at a loss. When I am at a loss, I decide . . . → Read More: Why I’m Ideal For Trailer Park Reality Show

MY FAVORITE THINGS OF 2012

By The Ass Girl, on April 12th, 2013

MY FAVORITE THINGS OF 2012

www.cookscorners.com No explanation necessary here. Everyone knows I love the place and the people. Nuff said. www.lolashoetique.com Almost every day a new pair of shoes. Great prices. It’s my bedtime story before I go to sleep. I just admire the pics and blissfully close my eyes. www.vendorgirl.com Biker Warehouse..I couldn’t . . . → Read More: MY FAVORITE THINGS OF 2012

Pick me!! Think Traffic! Handcuffs On Rear View Mirror

By The Ass Girl, on April 15th, 2013

PICK ME!! THINK TRAFFIC!

It’s Saturday night and I’m scrambling. I want to win this contest with Think Traffic. If you aren’t familiar with it, I will fill you in if I win, otherwise you’re on your own. They need me to write something about why I should win this Mentorship for a year. With . . . → Read More: Pick me!! Think Traffic! Handcuffs On Rear View Mirror

You Had Me.. Until You Opened Your Mouth

By The Ass Girl, on May 15th, 2013

When you talk it makes it worse!

I have this friend right now who is currently in a dilemma. Why is that you ask? Well, because her boyfriend couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

I am not sure why it is but it seems men in lengthy and healthy relationships have to screw it up . . . → Read More: You Had Me.. Until You Opened Your Mouth

Your cart is empty

How Do You Know If You are any Good at Oral?

Men Who Cry & Flirting Way To Front Row Of Def Leppard

The Joys Of Autism | Mom Look What I Can Do!

Soliciting You All | Booth for Next ANE/AVN Expo

What The Fuck 2012? How Do You Get Dick From Richard?

Scaring The Staff At The Viper Room | Jesus Loved Hookers

Pole Dancing Country Style | Men and Women Work The Pole

Ladies Who Ride ’12 | Photos

Warning Warning | Poor Shooter | Ouch My Eye Hurts

Shipping Men With Small Penises To China | Improves Self Esteem

Myth #6: Machismo is Sexy-Hot

Two For One Blue Plate Special | What Do Guys Really Want?

50 Shades Of S&M | Getting Busted By Landlord

Morality And Sleeping With Your Cousin

Falling For Gay Men | You Look Fabulous! I LOVE The Shoes!

From Barbie Houses to Stripper Poles

Shut Up! I Wear Heels Bigger Than Your Dick Boy Short

Faster Than A Horny Man? | How About My Car!

Semen taste yucky?

Sensitive Coochie?

How Do I Know When A Girl Wants To Bump Uglies?

The Dildo Dr.

Valentine’s Date 4 Hire

Your First Phone Call With A Girl | No Opinions Please!

Turn Me 50 Shades of Grey | An S&M Perpective

Playing Supermodel in Parking Lot | Sunset Blvd.

Why I’m Ideal For Trailer Park Reality Show

MY FAVORITE THINGS OF 2012

Pick me!! Think Traffic! Handcuffs On Rear View Mirror

You Had Me.. Until You Opened Your Mouth

Shop Now!