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The Basic Rules of Women

Basic Rules of Women

I was watching the ending to “Liar, Liar”, where Jim Carrey is riding this stair cart trying to catch up with the plane his ex and son were on and I’m thinking, “This is EXACTLY why men and women have so many problems!”. Here is this sad situation and we . . . → Read More: The Basic Rules of Women

Look.. I Wear Heels Bigger Than Your Dick Tank Top

White tank with “Look! I Wear Heels Bigger Than Your Dick” in black $19.95 . . . → Read More: Look.. I Wear Heels Bigger Than Your Dick Tank Top

Hangover Cure – Party Pill

There I was at Sprouts getting ready to check out and I see it.. A pill for $1.99 that will help prevent a hangover. I have been looking for something like this all of my life. I really could have used it in my twenties (a couple years ago). For that price, I decided to . . . → Read More: Hangover Cure – Party Pill

How High Should I Jump by R. Milton Quibner

Author of How High Should I Jump

Take a look at this man in the picture. Who do you think he is? Surgeon? Professor? Retired? What do you think he likes to do in his free time? Sail? Golf? Strip Clubs? One of the things in life I would love to do is eliminate . . . → Read More: How High Should I Jump by R. Milton Quibner

Swat Fuel

Swat Fuel.. Everything you need to get the best workout

I was at the Lauren Powers Classic at Cooks Corner and met this very informed man who was selling Swat Fuel. He gave me a bottle for free and asked me to try it out. He also gave me a tank and cute shorts . . . → Read More: Swat Fuel

Transformation 2013!

There is nothing in this post on sex so men, you may want to go to another post.

You only live once. That’s my motto to live by so I like to try everything once. I have a great friend who is a Physician Associate in Aesthetic Medicine. I overheard her asking our mutual friend . . . → Read More: Transformation 2013!

I Like A Man Who Cums & Goes Tank Top

I Like A Man Who Cums & Goes Tank Top

A white tank top with the phrase “I Like A Man Who Cums & Goes” on it. $19.95 . . . → Read More: I Like A Man Who Cums & Goes Tank Top

You Had Me.. Until You Opened Your Mouth

When you talk it makes it worse!

I have this friend right now who is currently in a dilemma. Why is that you ask? Well, because her boyfriend couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

I am not sure why it is but it seems men in lengthy and healthy relationships have to screw it up . . . → Read More: You Had Me.. Until You Opened Your Mouth

Meat Inspector Tank Top

Meat Inspector Tank Top

White tank top with the words “Meat Inspector” printed on the front.  $19.95

. . . → Read More: Meat Inspector Tank Top

Just Cause I Give A Good Blowjob Doesn’t Mean I Like It Up The Ass Tank Top

Just Cause I Give A Good Blowjob Doesn't Mean I Like It Up The Ass Tank Top

White tank top with the words “Just Cause I Give A Good Blowjob Doesn’t Mean I Like It Up The Ass” printed on the front. $19.95 . . . → Read More: Just Cause I Give A Good Blowjob Doesn’t Mean I Like It Up The Ass Tank Top

Semen taste yucky?

One of my favorite things about the ANE/AVN is always the samples. I found this product pretty intriguing. The concept is good, bad tasting semen. This could be a problem for someone. They work like those breath strips. You peel the thin piece, place it on your tongue and it melts. Upon semen release it . . . → Read More: Semen taste yucky?

Sensitive Coochie?

I love discovering something that there is a genuine need for. The sort of product that you see and think, “Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?” Well, surprise! Someone else beat you to it. The creators of Luvena did.

I am not going to get into the medical stuff and research because it’s . . . → Read More: Sensitive Coochie?

How Do I Know When A Girl Wants To Bump Uglies?

Hello Ass Girl,

I seem to have problems detecting when a girl wants to bump uglies with me. I am really shy, and can’t seem to pull the trigger. How do I know – what should I look for? or maybe I shouldn’t care?

Thanks, Michael from Denver

#RatedRaunchy

Dearest Michael,

First of all, . . . → Read More: How Do I Know When A Girl Wants To Bump Uglies?

The Dildo Dr.

There I was driving to Vegas when I see this truck. I laugh hysterically and snap a picture. Imagine, my car with TheAssGirl magnets driving beside a truck with The Dildo Dr. on it. It doesn’t get much better than that!

Talking to the Dildo Dr. was much more informative than you would think. I . . . → Read More: The Dildo Dr.

PRIDE Lubricant

Lubricant for the Cause by Nature Labs LLC

 

When I was at the ANE/AVN Expo this year, I loved checking out all the products and wanted one of everything. One of the things in particular I wanted to explore were the products geared towards gay men. It seems like most of the websites . . . → Read More: PRIDE Lubricant

Looking for a mutually beneficial relationship? Beard Available!

Some of us go through our whole lives not sure what we want to be when we grow up. It can change and life’s realities can evaporate your hope. You grow and the people around you change. I want to be a supermodel.. actress..singer..a hairdresser.. Time really does fly by and before you know it, . . . → Read More: Looking for a mutually beneficial relationship? Beard Available!

Psycho Boy Short

White boy short with the word Psycho in black lettering on the back for $19.95 . . . → Read More: Psycho Boy Short

Closed For The Season Boyshort

Closed For The Season[/caption]White Boy Shorts with “Closed For The Season” written on the back of them. $19.95 . . . → Read More: Closed For The Season Boyshort

Ladies First! Where Are Your Manners!

Friends Forever

There is something that female friendships can bring to your life that no other can. Why is that? Why can’t a man fill that void? If you say you have one that does, you are wrong. I am not sure if it’s the idea that they can really identify with anything you . . . → Read More: Ladies First! Where Are Your Manners!

Penis Pump by Hustler

www.hustler.com

FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED!

See this fun thing I got at the ANE/AVN 2014. This penis pump is the first product I am reviewing that had a unanimous thumbs up. Every single person that tried this product said it worked. Seriously!

I was surprised about how open they were about even using . . . → Read More: Penis Pump by Hustler

“WHATEVER!” WTF is that supposed to mean?

Male opinion vs female opinion The winner is….

“Whatever”. That’s my answer. Now can anyone actually tell me who won? Nope, didn’t think so. Whatever is right up there with the blinking smiley face you receive after a text. It’s saying, I am pretending to hear what you but am really too busy . . . → Read More: “WHATEVER!” WTF is that supposed to mean?

Eye Of Love.. Pheromone Parfum for Men & Women

I have tested a lot of pheromone products out there. Some of them were horrible, some of them were okay. A couple, when it’s the only thing I can find, I have worn. Unfortunately, at no point, did I get chased down by the masses. Somewhat disappointing but I was okay with it. I live . . . → Read More: Eye Of Love.. Pheromone Parfum for Men & Women

Wholesale Packages

While the wholesale is being constructed, this will be where you can order. All packages include 1 Small, 2 Medium, 2 Large, 1 XLarge Please include a copy of your resale certificate . . . → Read More: Wholesale Packages

AVN / ANE Expo 2014 in Las Vegas! Booth 1712!

I am going big this year. Everyone has seen me at this event, handing out freebies, promoting, drinking, dancing, promoting, drinking… It was time for the big leap. This year TheAssGirl will have a booth and be selling product in The Joint. I started with a table but a booth became available so I grabbed . . . → Read More: AVN / ANE Expo 2014 in Las Vegas! Booth 1712!

Stereotypes can suck my $#^K!

Stereotyping will get you a sandwich!

I am surrounded by morons.

I tried to cling to the hope that not every man is an asshole. I really do! But then, sometimes even after years pass, I discover something and bam! I am kicked in the stomach. I always hoped that, like me, there was . . . → Read More: Stereotypes can suck my $#^K!

The Sex Awards are cumming! October 9, 2013

HOW EXCITED AM I?? SOOOOO EXCITED! Have you heard what is cumming up?

Talk about a night to look forward to! I will be armed with my camera and brochures because work is my #1 priority but I am also looking forward to finding out who will win each category!

Porn Star of the Year

. . . → Read More: The Sex Awards are cumming! October 9, 2013

It’s Just A Dick.. You Can Go & Buy One Down The Street! F^ck!

Yep! Not big enough? Got it covered!

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YOU?

I know.. I know.. All you want to know is about the Sex Awards. I will be tackling that soon. What I can say is that I did learn a lot about fisting.. but today… today has thrown me . . . → Read More: It’s Just A Dick.. You Can Go & Buy One Down The Street! F^ck!

THE RULES FOR DATING A SINGLE MOM

 

Single mothers are a special type of woman and should be treated as such

 

There are many men out there who have no idea where they went wrong, while dating a single mother. In particular, if they have no children. You have no idea, even though you think you do, what it is . . . → Read More: THE RULES FOR DATING A SINGLE MOM

Laying Around, Never! I’m Always Promoting

How hard do I promote my product? As much as I can! Feedback is very important to me and everyone loves freebies, so I put the two together. Camp Freddy coming up! My favorite event where I am able to assist by giving away shirts so that nobody ends up with nothing under the tree. . . . → Read More: Laying Around, Never! I’m Always Promoting

RED FLAGS! Run away now before it’s too late!

Happens all the time. Most of us have been involved with one. It will be one of the hardest relationships to get out of and get over. It will scar you for life. But if you can get out of it early, that wound will heal and no one will even notice . . . → Read More: RED FLAGS! Run away now before it’s too late!