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By The Ass Girl, on April 5th, 2013
Truth: NO! I mean hard is great but that whole fast thing..we have a word for you. You are the jackrabbit.
We don’t like the jackrabbit and our neck is sore for the next three days afterwards. How would you like it if I start slapping your dick around. Is that going to feel good? . . . → Read More: Myth #4: Nailing a girl hard and fast is great sex! Don’t Be A Jack Rabbit
By The Ass Girl, on April 5th, 2013
Cut men’s number in half and triple the women’s.
Favorite Line:
The only time I believe in the power of attraction is when I buy XL condoms!
Re-gifting a Broken Vibrator
Okay…so I KNOW! I KNOW! “I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date!”. No, I’m not a rabbit but I did own one! . . . → Read More: Myth #3: Sex Number. No one is ever honest on this one
By The Ass Girl, on April 5th, 2013
FYI: Just because you have a big dick doesn’t mean you can just lay there
Well it’s a new month! I’m in a new place and I’m feeling pretty optimistic. Not quite sure why..I haven’t had that much to drink yet but hey..I’m running with it. I’m totally stoked for the Ladies Who Ride Event . . . → Read More: Myth #5: All You Need Is A Big Dick | Not!
By The Ass Girl, on April 5th, 2013
Hello my magnificent friends! I was trying to come up with an idea for a July “theme” when I received a text from a number I didn’t recognize. It said “Hello Gorgeous”. I respond with my “Who is This?”, to which they reply “Mark”. Mark? Mark who? Oh! I met you at the Foo Fighters . . . → Read More: Guys Always Come Back For More Bootie
By The Ass Girl, on April 5th, 2013
Actually it came out of left field. A compliment from a friend, from back in the day, that made me smile. Yes, it wasn’t exactly roses & champagne, but when has that ever worked for me? NEVER! I’d rather hear reality. We caught up, had intelligent conversation, then discussed what we had in common over . . . → Read More: I can only rent because I have commitment issues
By The Ass Girl, on April 5th, 2013
Now WHERE is the anal-anxieties from? Certainly not what you think immediately (that’s a whole other monthly blog!) more about me being PISSED with the judicial system. Not the petty crap like my ex owing me $320,000 in child support, not parking tickets, but the fact that because I have such incredibly bizarre situations always . . . → Read More: Anal Anxieties | Strap It On
By The Ass Girl, on April 5th, 2013
The Truth is it does!
As you know, I was not able to make Daytona so now I am aiming for Laughlin. Anybody have any extra room out there? Had a little car accident with an “asshole” that messed everything up! I have, however, been making my rounds and flashing my ass everywhere.
I LOVE . . . → Read More: Myth #2: Penis Size Doesn’t Matter | The Truth
By The Ass Girl, on April 5th, 2013
Truth? No we don’t. We want men to be able to go multiple times in one night, hence the little boy phenomenon. In actuality, about 40 minutes into it, you have lost us. We are going over our grocery list, coming up with our things to do list, etc. It’s best to let it go, . . . → Read More: Myth #1: Women Want Men to Go All Night
By The Ass Girl, on April 2nd, 2013
Coochy – Body Boudoir Rash Free Shave Creme
There is nothing worse than shaving and ending up with an unattractive rash. Whether you go with a shag, bathmat or linoleum look. Especially on date night because every woman out there is going to shave before they go out. I have tried shave creams for . . . → Read More: Shaving With Coochy Before A Shag
By The Ass Girl, on March 26th, 2013
While at the Adult Novelty Expo in Vegas I received alot of requests to review products. Samples were being offered to me left and right. We all know I will try anything once and the idea of a breath spray to get your libido in overdrive? Well how could I not?? The only catch..I agreed . . . → Read More: Adult Novelty Expo
By The Ass Girl, on April 2nd, 2013
Purchased at Touch of Romance/Con Rev
Peppermint Peckers
Okay..if you know me at all you know I always have a container of these in my purse. I just LOVE them! From a practical standpoint, I have this chronic dry mouth problem so for me THEY ARE MEDICALLY NECESSARY! From a fun standpoint, I love . . . → Read More: Peppermint Peckers
By The Ass Girl, on April 5th, 2013
Okay.. Look.. I know! Where have I been? But we need to focus on something even more important. The mini men.. little penis guys. Now yes, I have mentioned my theory on sending them to another country and only allowing big penis men to pro-create. I can be a bit harsh at times but it . . . → Read More: March Mini Men | Yes We Are Talking Penis Size
By The Ass Girl, on April 5th, 2013
I was pretty much 100% in favor of Fellatio this month! Although I think if you took a poll of the men out there they would definitely disagree. I pondered over how and what to say. I felt like if it was what everyone wanted to hear about, I had to give it a shot. . . . → Read More: February Fellatio | A Great Month For Oral Sex?
By The Ass Girl, on April 9th, 2013
I know! I know! Orgasms? How predictable! Trust me, being the scorpio I am, I tried desperately to come up with something else. I did not want to make it easy. I am a stubborn, pain in the ass (when I’m not wearing my…) Wait! What was I saying? Oh yea, orgasms. I thought about . . . → Read More: 2 Condoms For My First Orgasm | Hitting Home Runs
By The Ass Girl, on April 10th, 2013
Favorite Phrase I Have Used This Month: I am ALL about customer service! Just talk to any of the men I have slept with.
It is my birthday month so I have taken a few days to come up with a theme. Too busy being self-absorbed in my increasing age, inability to continue to lose . . . → Read More: Nooners In November | Good Customer Service
By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013
SELL!! SELL!!
I’M TRYING!!
Here I go.. It’s a another month and I’m still climbing that mountain. Mountain? Yes..that mountain to get to the top so I can get the pot of gold! Okay! Okay! I know that is supposed to be a rainbow but I live in California and it hardly ever rains. Could . . . → Read More: Soliciting You All | Booth for Next ANE/AVN Expo
By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013
What am I up to now you ask? A couple people I care about have recently found out their child has autism. They have a long, stressful road ahead of them but I want them to know that there may be some unexpected surprises along the way.
THE JOYS OF AUTISM
When my oldest was . . . → Read More: The Joys Of Autism | Mom Look What I Can Do!
By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013
Sorry for the delay but I got wrapped up with watching this tv series about hookers and Jesus. Totally the truth! Only three episodes which was unfortunate but hey.. it was better than Gigilos. That show was horrible! Of course I already pretty much figured Jesus loved hookers. I mean, he loves everybody. I thought . . . → Read More: Scaring The Staff At The Viper Room | Jesus Loved Hookers
By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013
WTF?
– Why is it okay to brake and let a woman cross in front of you but when you do it for a man, they get all weird about it. Almost embarrassed.
– An extremely large man riding a sportster (or scooter). Just doesn’t look right.
– How do you get the name Dick . . . → Read More: What The Fuck 2012? How Do You Get Dick From Richard?
By The Ass Girl, on April 12th, 2013
This is my review of this book. Now please understand you do not have to agree with me, it is only my opinion. I am glad I waited a few days. My “hotter than hell” cousin came over to visit (before he goes back to NY BOOO!) and asked me about the book. I gave . . . → Read More: Turn Me 50 Shades of Grey | An S&M Perpective
By The Ass Girl, on April 12th, 2013
BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS!!
It’s Friday night and I am sitting here daydreaming about living in my Barbie House. My kids, pets and my days of the week. Why am I calling it the Barbie House? Probably because when I was young I desperately wanted one. We couldn’t afford it so I would pack all of my . . . → Read More: From Barbie Houses to Stripper Poles
By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013
Absentmindedness? Not because I am late with my blog. That is too easy and we are talking about me! As you can see I have been on a couple excursions. All very fun ones. I will not allow anything else. Unfortunately, every time I began to write my blog…something kept knocking at my brains door.
. . . → Read More: How Do You Know If You are any Good at Oral?
By The Ass Girl, on April 11th, 2013
My heat press is warming up. I still have a bunch of shirts I need to make for Sunday. I’ve been so busy trying to do everything and cover all of my bases that I haven’t even had a chance to go and buy myself more wine..in like a WEEK! I had a booth for . . . → Read More: Men Who Cry & Flirting Way To Front Row Of Def Leppard
By The Ass Girl, on April 10th, 2013
I have been sitting here trying to figure out a ‘J’ word to go with January. It’s really pissing me off. I have already used jack offs (although I do have a neverending list of stories under that catagory). I thought about “Juggs” or “Jauggernaughts” then I realized I’m not so sure how to spell . . . → Read More: Shipping Men With Small Penises To China | Improves Self Esteem
By The Ass Girl, on April 10th, 2013
My December Delights are pretty obvious by my pictures.
Matt Sorum
Being the concert whore that I am, these two were definitely my highlights! Kid Rock..private show at Malibu Inn and Camp Freddy at the Roxy. Both small venues..both kick ass! Everything about them..hot guys, entertaining selection of skanky chicks and me having enough . . . → Read More: Concert Whore That I Am | Kid Rock and Camp Freddy
By The Ass Girl, on April 10th, 2013
WARNING! WARNING!
What is going on? What is with the urgent message? WTF?
I am sorry to have to interrupt your Friday evening escapades but I received a phone call that was very upsetting to me. A dear friend called me very distraut. She was inconsolable. What happened? She explained…OH NO! Not again! I became . . . → Read More: Warning Warning | Poor Shooter | Ouch My Eye Hurts
By The Ass Girl, on April 10th, 2013
Machismo.. Doesn’t that word just scream gold chain, hairy chest, the scent of Old Spice, white socks worn with sandals, speeding by you in an Iroc? Pretty hot huh?
NOT! It also screams arrogance to me and I hate arrogance. It also screams bushy hair to me and I’m not sure why but that leaves . . . → Read More: Myth #6: Machismo is Sexy-Hot
By The Ass Girl, on April 10th, 2013
One night (drinking) I was hanging with a gf..drinking some tequila(Jose’ I’m broke so the shitty stuff but tolerable in a one up kind of situation) we decided to go on Plenty of Fish and make a post. Not a usual post but a “Two For One Blue Plate Special”. IT WAS AWESOME! We . . . → Read More: Two For One Blue Plate Special | What Do Guys Really Want?
By The Ass Girl, on April 12th, 2013
Me? My Own Television Show? Can someone please tell me where everyone disappeared to?? I had all of these new hits last month and then.. POOF! Wtf? Did I offend someone? Do I have to start going door to door offering sexual favors? I’m at a loss. When I am at a loss, I decide . . . → Read More: Why I’m Ideal For Trailer Park Reality Show
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