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You Had Me.. Until You Opened Your Mouth

When you talk it makes it worse!

I have this friend right now who is currently in a dilemma. Why is that you ask? Well, because her boyfriend couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

I am not sure why it is but it seems men in lengthy and healthy relationships have to screw it up . . . → Read More: You Had Me.. Until You Opened Your Mouth

How Do I Know When A Girl Wants To Bump Uglies?

Hello Ass Girl,

I seem to have problems detecting when a girl wants to bump uglies with me. I am really shy, and can’t seem to pull the trigger. How do I know – what should I look for? or maybe I shouldn’t care?

Thanks, Michael from Denver

#RatedRaunchy

Dearest Michael,

First of all, . . . → Read More: How Do I Know When A Girl Wants To Bump Uglies?

Hangover Cure – Party Pill

There I was at Sprouts getting ready to check out and I see it.. A pill for $1.99 that will help prevent a hangover. I have been looking for something like this all of my life. I really could have used it in my twenties (a couple years ago). For that price, I decided to . . . → Read More: Hangover Cure – Party Pill

PRIDE Lubricant

Lubricant for the Cause by Nature Labs LLC

 

When I was at the ANE/AVN Expo this year, I loved checking out all the products and wanted one of everything. One of the things in particular I wanted to explore were the products geared towards gay men. It seems like most of the websites . . . → Read More: PRIDE Lubricant

It’s Just A Dick.. You Can Go & Buy One Down The Street! F^ck!

Yep! Not big enough? Got it covered!

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YOU?

I know.. I know.. All you want to know is about the Sex Awards. I will be tackling that soon. What I can say is that I did learn a lot about fisting.. but today… today has thrown me . . . → Read More: It’s Just A Dick.. You Can Go & Buy One Down The Street! F^ck!

The Sex Awards are cumming! October 9, 2013

HOW EXCITED AM I?? SOOOOO EXCITED! Have you heard what is cumming up?

Talk about a night to look forward to! I will be armed with my camera and brochures because work is my #1 priority but I am also looking forward to finding out who will win each category!

Porn Star of the Year

. . . → Read More: The Sex Awards are cumming! October 9, 2013

The Dildo Dr.

There I was driving to Vegas when I see this truck. I laugh hysterically and snap a picture. Imagine, my car with TheAssGirl magnets driving beside a truck with The Dildo Dr. on it. It doesn’t get much better than that!

Talking to the Dildo Dr. was much more informative than you would think. I . . . → Read More: The Dildo Dr.

Semen taste yucky?

One of my favorite things about the ANE/AVN is always the samples. I found this product pretty intriguing. The concept is good, bad tasting semen. This could be a problem for someone. They work like those breath strips. You peel the thin piece, place it on your tongue and it melts. Upon semen release it . . . → Read More: Semen taste yucky?

Pick me!! Think Traffic! Handcuffs On Rear View Mirror

Flying

PICK ME!! THINK TRAFFIC!

It’s Saturday night and I’m scrambling. I want to win this contest with Think Traffic. If you aren’t familiar with it, I will fill you in if I win, otherwise you’re on your own. They need me to write something about why I should win this Mentorship for a year. With . . . → Read More: Pick me!! Think Traffic! Handcuffs On Rear View Mirror

MY FAVORITE THINGS OF 2012

Giving Finger

MY FAVORITE THINGS OF 2012

www.cookscorners.com No explanation necessary here. Everyone knows I love the place and the people. Nuff said. www.lolashoetique.com Almost every day a new pair of shoes. Great prices. It’s my bedtime story before I go to sleep. I just admire the pics and blissfully close my eyes. www.vendorgirl.com Biker Warehouse..I couldn’t . . . → Read More: MY FAVORITE THINGS OF 2012

Your First Phone Call With A Girl | No Opinions Please!

Love Naked Men Who Dont Talk Panties

I’m hoping everyone had a wonderful holiday and didn’t empty their xanax bottle (those babies can be hard to get). I’m still preparing for the AVN/ANE Expo in Vegas.

During my holiday I contemplated my goals for the New Year. I thought about making some changes..maybe it was time to try dating again. HUGE mistake! . . . → Read More: Your First Phone Call With A Girl | No Opinions Please!

Valentine’s Date 4 Hire

Your Valentines Date

Valentine’s Day got you worried? Not sure how you are going to pull it off with all those couples invites? I have the perfect solution! It’s a new service I started called “Dream Date For Hire”.

Our Current Dates Available For Hire:

Your Valentines Date

As you can see..we only hire professionals. We want . . . → Read More: Valentine’s Date 4 Hire

Shut Up! I Wear Heels Bigger Than Your Dick Boy Short

Shut Up! I Wear Heels Bigger Than Your Dick Panties

White boyshort panties with Shut Up! I Wear Heels Bigger Than Your Dick on back. $19.95 . . . → Read More: Shut Up! I Wear Heels Bigger Than Your Dick Boy Short

Faster Than A Horny Man? | How About My Car!

Hot Wings Panties

I know! There is nothing faster but you are wrong! Can I just say this is going to sound crazy at first but it really isn’t.

So this is the deal… My car has been driving by itself. I swear! It sounds impossible and at first I couldn’t believe it, nor could anyone I . . . → Read More: Faster Than A Horny Man? | How About My Car!

Laying Around, Never! I’m Always Promoting

How hard do I promote my product? As much as I can! Feedback is very important to me and everyone loves freebies, so I put the two together. Camp Freddy coming up! My favorite event where I am able to assist by giving away shirts so that nobody ends up with nothing under the tree. . . . → Read More: Laying Around, Never! I’m Always Promoting

AVN / ANE Expo 2014 in Las Vegas! Booth 1712!

I am going big this year. Everyone has seen me at this event, handing out freebies, promoting, drinking, dancing, promoting, drinking… It was time for the big leap. This year TheAssGirl will have a booth and be selling product in The Joint. I started with a table but a booth became available so I grabbed . . . → Read More: AVN / ANE Expo 2014 in Las Vegas! Booth 1712!

Rocker Chicks Love Rocker Dicks Tank Top

Blue tank top with Rocker Chicks Love Rocker Dicks on the front in black lettering for $19.95 . . . → Read More: Rocker Chicks Love Rocker Dicks Tank Top

What Will Men Choose? Best Friend or Sex? … SEX! Seriously!

I know according to medical books, men have balls. I’m just not very confident about that anymore. Yes, I know, there is scientific proof but maybe over time they have shrunk so much and are so little that they are insignificant. It’s the only explanation I can come up with.

This guy I know got . . . → Read More: What Will Men Choose? Best Friend or Sex? … SEX! Seriously!

My … Is Bigger Than His! T-Shirt

White T-shirt that has in blue lettering My (picture of rooster) is Bigger Than His with an arrow.

. . . → Read More: My … Is Bigger Than His! T-Shirt

BACHELORETTE PACKAGE OF FUN!

White tank tops with individual phrases on them in red lettering along with black silhouette representing the bride and her bridal party. Eight pieces in all for $121.99 . . . → Read More: BACHELORETTE PACKAGE OF FUN!

The Crazy Bridesmaid Tank Top

White Tank top with red lettering and a black silhouette on the front for $19.95 . . . → Read More: The Crazy Bridesmaid Tank Top

The Bride To Be Tank Top

White tank top with bride to be written on the front in red letters along with a black silhouette for $19.95 . . . → Read More: The Bride To Be Tank Top

Men Who Cry Make My Vagina Dry Tank Top

Heather Grey tank top with the words men who cry make my vagina dry in black lettering $19.95

. . . → Read More: Men Who Cry Make My Vagina Dry Tank Top

So Much BDSM, How Can I Choose??

With the soon to be upcoming craze of 50 Shades I feel the need to take an even deeper look at the BDSM genre. Curiosity drives me I had to take a closer look.

A friend of mine was contemplating opening up her world, sexual world, and dabbling a little in the BDSM. She . . . → Read More: So Much BDSM, How Can I Choose??

Ladies First! Where Are Your Manners!

Friends Forever

There is something that female friendships can bring to your life that no other can. Why is that? Why can’t a man fill that void? If you say you have one that does, you are wrong. I am not sure if it’s the idea that they can really identify with anything you . . . → Read More: Ladies First! Where Are Your Manners!

Closed For The Season Boyshort

Closed For The Season[/caption]White Boy Shorts with “Closed For The Season” written on the back of them. $19.95 . . . → Read More: Closed For The Season Boyshort

Penis Pump by Hustler

www.hustler.com

FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED!

See this fun thing I got at the ANE/AVN 2014. This penis pump is the first product I am reviewing that had a unanimous thumbs up. Every single person that tried this product said it worked. Seriously!

I was surprised about how open they were about even using . . . → Read More: Penis Pump by Hustler

Chili Cook Off June 21, 2014

TheAssGirl will be there with a booth carrying products available for purchase! Come by, say hi and bring beer and JD!

June 21, 2014

Single & Twisted Tank Top

White Next Level Tank Top with black lettering. $19.95 . . . → Read More: Single & Twisted Tank Top

Adopt The Seven Year Ditch!

I have come up with a ridiculous plan that I think could work! It could save marriages and/or at a minimum, expand your sex horizons!

When I got divorced, I wasn’t terribly worried about the dating scene. I mean, it’s just like riding a bike ;). It will all come back to you. I . . . → Read More: Adopt The Seven Year Ditch!