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Myth #2: Penis Size Doesn’t Matter | The Truth

The Truth is it does!

As you know, I was not able to make Daytona so now I am aiming for Laughlin. Anybody have any extra room out there? Had a little car accident with an “asshole” that messed everything up! I have, however, been making my rounds and flashing my ass everywhere.

I LOVE . . . → Read More: Myth #2: Penis Size Doesn’t Matter | The Truth

Myth #3: Sex Number. No one is ever honest on this one

Big Ass Hug

Cut men’s number in half and triple the women’s.

Favorite Line:

The only time I believe in the power of attraction is when I buy XL condoms!

Re-gifting a Broken Vibrator

Okay…so I KNOW! I KNOW! “I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date!”. No, I’m not a rabbit but I did own one! . . . → Read More: Myth #3: Sex Number. No one is ever honest on this one

Myth #4: Nailing a girl hard and fast is great sex! Don’t Be A Jack Rabbit

Sucking titties

Truth: NO! I mean hard is great but that whole fast thing..we have a word for you. You are the jackrabbit.

We don’t like the jackrabbit and our neck is sore for the next three days afterwards. How would you like it if I start slapping your dick around. Is that going to feel good? . . . → Read More: Myth #4: Nailing a girl hard and fast is great sex! Don’t Be A Jack Rabbit

Myth #5: All You Need Is A Big Dick | Not!

Ladies Who Ride Cooks Corner

FYI: Just because you have a big dick doesn’t mean you can just lay there

Well it’s a new month! I’m in a new place and I’m feeling pretty optimistic. Not quite sure why..I haven’t had that much to drink yet but hey..I’m running with it. I’m totally stoked for the Ladies Who Ride Event . . . → Read More: Myth #5: All You Need Is A Big Dick | Not!

Myth #1: Women Want Men to Go All Night

Highly Medicated Panties

Truth? No we don’t. We want men to be able to go multiple times in one night, hence the little boy phenomenon. In actuality, about 40 minutes into it, you have lost us. We are going over our grocery list, coming up with our things to do list, etc. It’s best to let it go, . . . → Read More: Myth #1: Women Want Men to Go All Night

February Fellatio | A Great Month For Oral Sex?

Getting Off In Public

I was pretty much 100% in favor of Fellatio this month! Although I think if you took a poll of the men out there they would definitely disagree. I pondered over how and what to say. I felt like if it was what everyone wanted to hear about, I had to give it a shot. . . . → Read More: February Fellatio | A Great Month For Oral Sex?

Adult Novelty Expo

While at the Adult Novelty Expo in Vegas I received alot of requests to review products. Samples were being offered to me left and right. We all know I will try anything once and the idea of a breath spray to get your libido in overdrive? Well how could I not?? The only catch..I agreed . . . → Read More: Adult Novelty Expo

Shaving With Coochy Before A Shag

Clean Your Coochy

Coochy – Body Boudoir Rash Free Shave Creme

There is nothing worse than shaving and ending up with an unattractive rash. Whether you go with a shag, bathmat or linoleum look. Especially on date night because every woman out there is going to shave before they go out. I have tried shave creams for . . . → Read More: Shaving With Coochy Before A Shag

Peppermint Peckers

Peppermint Peckers

Purchased at Touch of Romance/Con Rev

Peppermint Peckers

Okay..if you know me at all you know I always have a container of these in my purse. I just LOVE them! From a practical standpoint, I have this chronic dry mouth problem so for me THEY ARE MEDICALLY NECESSARY! From a fun standpoint, I love . . . → Read More: Peppermint Peckers

March Mini Men | Yes We Are Talking Penis Size

The Ass Girl With Elderly

Okay.. Look.. I know! Where have I been? But we need to focus on something even more important. The mini men.. little penis guys. Now yes, I have mentioned my theory on sending them to another country and only allowing big penis men to pro-create. I can be a bit harsh at times but it . . . → Read More: March Mini Men | Yes We Are Talking Penis Size

Guys Always Come Back For More Bootie

Freaky Fuck But Spanking

Hello my magnificent friends! I was trying to come up with an idea for a July “theme” when I received a text from a number I didn’t recognize. It said “Hello Gorgeous”. I respond with my “Who is This?”, to which they reply “Mark”. Mark? Mark who? Oh! I met you at the Foo Fighters . . . → Read More: Guys Always Come Back For More Bootie

Anal Anxieties | Strap It On

Butt Cheeks And Leather

Now WHERE is the anal-anxieties from? Certainly not what you think immediately (that’s a whole other monthly blog!) more about me being PISSED with the judicial system. Not the petty crap like my ex owing me $320,000 in child support, not parking tickets, but the fact that because I have such incredibly bizarre situations always . . . → Read More: Anal Anxieties | Strap It On

Warning Warning | Poor Shooter | Ouch My Eye Hurts

Watch Out For Bad Cum Shooters

WARNING! WARNING!

What is going on? What is with the urgent message? WTF?

I am sorry to have to interrupt your Friday evening escapades but I received a phone call that was very upsetting to me. A dear friend called me very distraut. She was inconsolable. What happened? She explained…OH NO! Not again! I became . . . → Read More: Warning Warning | Poor Shooter | Ouch My Eye Hurts

Myth #6: Machismo is Sexy-Hot

Shut Up Small Dick

Machismo.. Doesn’t that word just scream gold chain, hairy chest, the scent of Old Spice, white socks worn with sandals, speeding by you in an Iroc? Pretty hot huh?

NOT! It also screams arrogance to me and I hate arrogance. It also screams bushy hair to me and I’m not sure why but that leaves . . . → Read More: Myth #6: Machismo is Sexy-Hot

Two For One Blue Plate Special | What Do Guys Really Want?

Kermit Flashing

One night (drinking) I was hanging with a gf..drinking some tequila(Jose’ I’m broke so the shitty stuff but tolerable in a one up kind of situation) we decided to go on Plenty of Fish and make a post. Not a usual post but a “Two For One Blue Plate Special”. IT WAS AWESOME! We . . . → Read More: Two For One Blue Plate Special | What Do Guys Really Want?

Morality And Sleeping With Your Cousin

Tits On Bike

Morality? Gets in the way of fun? Nahh ! LOL. May cause a pause at times? Yea..probably. I scratch my brain and have more wine. I think morality is different for everyone. All I know is that the only person who can make you happy is yourself, so do whatever it is you want to . . . → Read More: Morality And Sleeping With Your Cousin

Shipping Men With Small Penises To China | Improves Self Esteem

Stocking Stuffers

I have been sitting here trying to figure out a ‘J’ word to go with January. It’s really pissing me off. I have already used jack offs (although I do have a neverending list of stories under that catagory). I thought about “Juggs” or “Jauggernaughts” then I realized I’m not so sure how to spell . . . → Read More: Shipping Men With Small Penises To China | Improves Self Esteem

Concert Whore That I Am | Kid Rock and Camp Freddy

Rocking Out

My December Delights are pretty obvious by my pictures.

Matt Sorum

Being the concert whore that I am, these two were definitely my highlights! Kid Rock..private show at Malibu Inn and Camp Freddy at the Roxy. Both small venues..both kick ass! Everything about them..hot guys, entertaining selection of skanky chicks and me having enough . . . → Read More: Concert Whore That I Am | Kid Rock and Camp Freddy

I can only rent because I have commitment issues

Male Blow Up Doll

Actually it came out of left field. A compliment from a friend, from back in the day, that made me smile. Yes, it wasn’t exactly roses & champagne, but when has that ever worked for me? NEVER! I’d rather hear reality. We caught up, had intelligent conversation, then discussed what we had in common over . . . → Read More: I can only rent because I have commitment issues

2 Condoms For My First Orgasm | Hitting Home Runs

TheAssGirl Hugging

I know! I know! Orgasms? How predictable! Trust me, being the scorpio I am, I tried desperately to come up with something else. I did not want to make it easy. I am a stubborn, pain in the ass (when I’m not wearing my…) Wait! What was I saying? Oh yea, orgasms. I thought about . . . → Read More: 2 Condoms For My First Orgasm | Hitting Home Runs

Nooners In November | Good Customer Service

Sexy Halloween

Favorite Phrase I Have Used This Month: I am ALL about customer service! Just talk to any of the men I have slept with.

It is my birthday month so I have taken a few days to come up with a theme. Too busy being self-absorbed in my increasing age, inability to continue to lose . . . → Read More: Nooners In November | Good Customer Service

50 Shades Of S&M | Getting Busted By Landlord

Big Ass Big Bike

I decided to try something different this month. I am going to be posting my review of Fifty Shades of Grey so I figured lets stick with that S&M theme. I hope that isn’t a problem for anybody…

Now I know I seem like a woman of “experience” mostly due to the fact that I . . . → Read More: 50 Shades Of S&M | Getting Busted By Landlord